[Rock007]

What are your views on long distance relationships? Do they work? How to make them work? Any personal story would be helpful too.
+ any other tip?

[L'Étoile]

NOPE, they never work, well there is always exceptions.

[SloaneT91]

They can work as long as you and your boyfriend/girlfriend want it too. I did long distance for 8 months during my first year of university with my boyfriend. I would have to say the most important thing is giving the other person the space they need. If you're too overbearing and clingy then you're not going to get very far and they're just going to end up resenting you for hindering their experiences. What helped my relationship was scheduled times every day that would be just for the two of us to talk about our days and catch up. I found that really helped because that was time that we had to ourselves in between our completely different schedules. LDR can be really, really hard and some times will seem worse than others but if you really want it to work, it will and it can. You just have to have trust in each other.
I was with my boyfriend for about a year and half before we parted for university and we're now going on four and a half years so I'm proof that it can work

PS - if you don't have skype, get it.

Good luck!

[jhan523]

Originally Posted by SloaneT91

They can work as long as you and your boyfriend/girlfriend want it too. I did long distance for 8 months during my first year of university with my boyfriend. I would have to say the most important thing is giving the other person the space they need. If you're too overbearing and clingy then you're not going to get very far and they're just going to end up resenting you for hindering their experiences. What helped my relationship was scheduled times every day that would be just for the two of us to talk about our days and catch up. I found that really helped because that was time that we had to ourselves in between our completely different schedules. LDR can be really, really hard and some times will seem worse than others but if you really want it to work, it will and it can. You just have to have trust in each other.
I was with my boyfriend for about a year and half before we parted for university and we're now going on four and a half years so I'm proof that it can work

PS - if you don't have skype, get it.

Good luck!

Also, if you have a crappy phone plan or can't afford one with long distance you can always use google voice (Free call to US and Canada). If you have gmail it's in the chat box where it says "call phone". So you both don't have to be at the computer to talk.

I believe you can also get your own number for google voice which can be in the US or Canada and have calls forwarded from that number to your phone. So if you have a google voice number in the area that your GF/BF lives in, they can call that number locally and vice versa with their google voice number in your area. So in the end neither of you have to be on the computer and I believe the calls are free.

[RockerSocker]

My buddy had a LDR with his gf, and he ended up finding out she cheated on him multiple times.

[Cintdrix]

LDR can work as long as you do it right. I am (sort of) in one right now since high school. The key to success is to give each other freedom and trust. For me and my gf, we still went out and partied, got drunk, went clubbing where we were even allowed to dance with other people, but this only works when you can trust your partner completely. You must avoid jealousy (it can be hard) and talk to each other without being too clingy. I thought my relationship was going great but then she said we needed to go on a break so maybe you shouldn't listen to me .
It will work if you want it. If you have doubts, you probably shouldn't bother getting into it because you might regret it later.

[Kathy2]

I think it depends how committed you are to each other in the first place. I've been with my boyfriend for 6+ years, so when we had a long distance relationship last summer, it was obvious that it was going to work. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, so we can easily deal with a 4 months of long distance. It was never a question of "Should we do this?", it was more like "How do we do this?"
But if you've only been dating for like 6 months, and you don't know if you plan on staying together for a long time, it might be a little harder to maintain. It also depends how long you will be long distance. A few weeks or months can be bearable, but a year or more might be too much stress if you're not fully committed to one another.

Like others said, Skype is essential fr LDRs.

[Lois]

No. Unless there's a definitive end-point.

[Rstevenson]

Damn, I thought you were going to ask about Light Dependant Resistors... :(

[abelon3]

True love has no distance my friend.

[crazyfree]

Originally Posted by Lois

No. Unless there's a definitive end-point.

Good point. One of the hardest parts about my LDR is never knowing when we'll see each next. At this point its been 10 months :( BUT I get to see him in two weeks, so that's a bright side. However that was only decided about a month and a half ago. We spent 8 months missing each other, never knowing when-to be utterly melodramatic-the pain would end.

Anyway, they can work they just take effort and commitment, and really, love. If this isn't a person you see yourself with forever, don't bother. Set times you'll "hang out" via skype. As an example, my bf and I have a few shows we watch together, so we always know that we'll have at least an hour together at some point, even when things are super busy. Make sure you do go out and party etc too-you'll only start to resent each other if you hold back. But set guideline obviously. If you don't want them dancing with other people, make that a rule. Just think-if we were together physically right now, would I be okay with that? Don't change your principles just because they're far away.

Keep things fun and romantic too-it's a lot harder when you can't go out etc, but be creative. That'll help remind you why you're bothering in the first place, because things can get really hard when you don't have that person next to you.

Good luck

FYI Mine has been two years long distance Canada to UK.

[Dopematic]

Originally Posted by crazyfree

FYI Mine has been two years long distance Canada to UK.

!!!
Kudos to you!

[mcmastergcdb]

This is like the 5th thread i have seen in last 2 months on the same topic. People need to use the search button more.

[Willmountain]

See above.

But I'll provide an opinion. I was in one for 2 years. Honestly? Looking back on it I wish I didn't. Nothing against the girl at all, but I came to Mac looking for a monumental shift in my life and I didn't get one at all while in a relationship. It came after we broke up last summer. Being on my own completely for the whole school year was just plain awesome. Not because I was hooking up with people because I wasn't, but I felt like I was living a new life as myself. Going to university should be about finding who you are as an adult, and not a teenager. Being tied to another person you're probably not going to marry, while it may be comforting, will do nothing but withold you from knowing yourself.

I'm in no rush to get into something serious, especially going into my last year, and I honestly wish I just started over with a clean slate in first year, regardless of how crappy I would have felt.

This gets brought up all the time, and 95 times out of 100, they never work. The ones that do work usually don't work beyond university. It's up to you, but that's just how I feel after dealing with long-distance for 2 years.

[RyanC]

In university: probably not a good decision
After university: whatever

If it hurts you to be away from them, you really have to ask yourself why you're attached to this particular person so much.. once you're comfortable to the point that you don't have to question whether a long distance relationship is feasible is when such a relationship can work well.

(anecdotes aside)