I'm 19, male, in first year engineering living on campus. I've been feeling burnt out, anxious, and just extremely sad any time I'm left with my own thoughts. I did well first term (mostly 12s) but I'm falling further and further behind right now. I can't concentrate on studying. Barely getting any sleep (writing this at 4 am). No appetite. I have no clue whether I feel this way because I hate school right now or vice versa. I think about doing calculus the rest of my life and just want to drop out and dig holes in the sun for minimum wage. I'd drop out right now if I thought it would end this, but I have no clue what else I'd do that would make me any happier - and maybe my memory is hazy but I thought I actually enjoyed learning at one point.

I plan to schedule an appointment with the Student Wellness Centre later this week and I was just wondering if anyone could tell me what to expect.

Do they take blood work? I really hope this is some sort of chemical imbalance... I've fallen behind in school before and it didn't cause me to lie awake at night crying for no reason and feeling utter despair almost every day. I don't want to become a zombie on meds, but willpower just isn't doing it. I had a party on reading week, got drunk, had fun, but the next night I was just back to the way I am right now. I lie awake every night and feel completely empty and hopeless, the two months of non-stop work until summer seem like eternity and everyday it seems more likely that I'll still feel like this after exams anyways - like this is just my brain's default now - and that fucking terrifies me.

My week is busy (co-op class, midterm, epic labs, more catching up) so I probably won't be able to go until next weekend, in the meantime does anyone have advice on what to do about this? Has anyone been here? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Hey i was going through something very similar, and just recently (2nd year) started going to SWC in term one, also it sounds like you are dealing with a lot so ask them about SAS, its basically the student accessibility center and they can help you with things like providing you with accommodations for tests, assignments, labs, and the exam as well. But they'll first have to do a diagnosis before you get referred there, but to me it sounds like they will because it sounds like you're struggling with depression. So, yeah book that SWC appointment NOW! and see them earliest possible, i think the first one is only 30 minutes, and thats not THAT much time taken from your day, heck it may even make you feel a bit better. and no, no blood work. You'll be diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and prob given the option of medication. Just go see the counselor and keep attending. good luck

Hey, depression is rough - but most of the time it can be managed and even resolved with some help. I'd be willing to bet that it's the lack of sleep and concentration that's making you hate school, not the other way around.
Most likely for your first appointment they'll just talk with you about your symptoms/struggles this semester and ask you for a medical/mental health history. There isn't really a blood test for depression (yet!) so they primarily diagnose by symptoms. They might do a blood test to make sure there aren't any underlying causes like vitamin deficiencies.
Speaking of which: it's been a long cold winter and vitamin D (which you get from being outside in the sunshine) deficiency can cause/exacerbate depression symptoms. I'm not saying that it will 100% make you feel better but a daily supplement (Shoppers Drug Mart across from campus has them) makes a big difference for me this time of year.
If they do prescribe meds, it will likely be a low dose of an anti-depressant. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get the right medication and dosage for your specific brain chemistry but you're not likely to feel too much like a zombie - almost certainly better than you're feeling right now!

Until you get the chance to make an appointment you might find it helpful to talk about it with a friend, or if that's too hard the Peer Support Line: https://www.msumcmaster.ca/services-...-pilot-project

Good luck, John.

Originally Posted by HiddenTruth

and no, no blood work. You'll be diagnosed by a psychiatrist, and prob given the option of medication. Just go see the counselor and keep attending. good luck

Any doctor worth half their salary will do a blood test. They won't check for vitamin D (it's not covered by the government except in very specific circumstances, such as kidney failure), but they'll probably do a B12 test. Having said that, the blood tests won't identify "chemical imbalances" in your brain. The causes of depression are varying, but the one thing they have in common is that they are poorly understood. Initially, you will be diagnosed by a family physician - most students with depression are not seen by the psychiatrist, and even if they are, the appointments aren't nearly as frequent as they would be with the family doctor. The doctors at Mac are very well-equipped for identifying and dealing with depression and anxiety - they see it ALL the time.

Like Ashleigh said, it might be a good idea to try VitD supplements - aim for about 1000 IU per day. Virtually everybody in Canada is vitamin D deficient right now, so it can't hurt, if you can afford the supplements (they're not too expensive).

Make an appt at the Student Wellness Centre ASAP - I don't think they're open on weekends, so just find some time during the week to go. It's less than an hour of your time.

try destressing yourself. Find ways to add relaxation inbetween

Originally Posted by starfish

Any doctor worth half their salary will do a blood test. They won't check for vitamin D (it's not covered by the government except in very specific circumstances, such as kidney failure), but they'll probably do a B12 test. Having said that, the blood tests won't identify "chemical imbalances" in your brain. The causes of depression are varying, but the one thing they have in common is that they are poorly understood. Initially, you will be diagnosed by a family physician - most students with depression are not seen by the psychiatrist, and even if they are, the appointments aren't nearly as frequent as they would be with the family doctor. The doctors at Mac are very well-equipped for identifying and dealing with depression and anxiety - they see it ALL the time.

Like Ashleigh said, it might be a good idea to try VitD supplements - aim for about 1000 IU per day. Virtually everybody in Canada is vitamin D deficient right now, so it can't hurt, if you can afford the supplements (they're not too expensive).

Make an appt at the Student Wellness Centre ASAP - I don't think they're open on weekends, so just find some time during the week to go. It's less than an hour of your time.

Good points. Also, ask about checking TSH.

Originally Posted by throwaway1

I think about doing calculus the rest of my life and just want to drop out and dig holes in the sun for minimum wage.

I loled at this.
I felt the same way about math in first year. Too many math courses in first year.. Generally, I found them to be pretty dull and questioned why we had to do so many math courses.
It's true that you do use plenty of math in engineering but it's not as dull as your math courses now. Engineering math courses have a lot of content and can be dull because they try to teach you all the math at once. They want you to have a good base for your other courses where you will use some but not all of the concepts learnt. I found math to be boring because it felt like it was taken out of context and was useless but as you go into a field and learn about something that interests you, it will be put into context and you will understand why they made you do all that stuff.

Most people find second year engineering to be much better than first year. Its because you have to take lots of courses in first year that may not be relevant to whichever program you choose. Don't worry so much about falling behind, most people get their lowest averages in first year. Also first year can be really stressful because of living away from home and lots of changes to your life. So just try to find ways to de-stress in these midterm intensive weeks.
When first year is over and you don't have to worry about getting good grades to get into a program and you're doing stuff you actually find interesting, things will look different. Hang in there

They've also adjusted some aspects of Math 2Z03 and Math 2ZZ3 to make them more fair courses, so please do not feel discouraged about what lies ahead! (This is the first year that these courses have changed in a long time, so many upper years will have horror stories that hopefully no longer apply.)

Best of luck to you.

On a related note, do any losers, shuttins or weebs want to hang out?
Could talk about depression or local helium suppliers.

Originally Posted by throwaway1

I'm 19, male, in first year engineering living on campus. I've been feeling burnt out, anxious, and just extremely sad any time I'm left with my own thoughts. I did well first term (mostly 12s) but I'm falling further and further behind right now. I can't concentrate on studying. Barely getting any sleep (writing this at 4 am). No appetite. I have no clue whether I feel this way because I hate school right now or vice versa. I think about doing calculus the rest of my life and just want to drop out and dig holes in the sun for minimum wage. I'd drop out right now if I thought it would end this, but I have no clue what else I'd do that would make me any happier - and maybe my memory is hazy but I thought I actually enjoyed learning at one point.

I plan to schedule an appointment with the Student Wellness Centre later this week and I was just wondering if anyone could tell me what to expect.

Do they take blood work? I really hope this is some sort of chemical imbalance... I've fallen behind in school before and it didn't cause me to lie awake at night crying for no reason and feeling utter despair almost every day. I don't want to become a zombie on meds, but willpower just isn't doing it. I had a party on reading week, got drunk, had fun, but the next night I was just back to the way I am right now. I lie awake every night and feel completely empty and hopeless, the two months of non-stop work until summer seem like eternity and everyday it seems more likely that I'll still feel like this after exams anyways - like this is just my brain's default now - and that fucking terrifies me.

My week is busy (co-op class, midterm, epic labs, more catching up) so I probably won't be able to go until next weekend, in the meantime does anyone have advice on what to do about this? Has anyone been here? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Exact same thing happening to me lately.
Straight 12s in the first term but i feel mentally burnt out and can't concentrate.
Trust me, these are common university symptoms in term 2.
Just don't give up and keep trying your best.
Keep in mind that we're done in less than 2 months now!

hey john.

im in fourth year and set to graduate after this semester. although its a celebration, my four years at mac have been tough, and i too feel that after graduating, the anxiety i have will still persist and wont stop once im done with exams, jobs, readings etc.

i've done most if not all of the things you said you are experiencing in your first year and part of the reason my anxiety attacks still happen is because ive held on to them for four years. never told anyone, never accepted it and i always wanted to ignore it and say "itll eventually go away" or "im being dramatic" and to be completely honest that is what has kept and escalated my emotional issues.

i finally decided to make an appointment with the wellness center, havent gone yet as my appointment is in a week and a half, im scared to go but at this point i have no other option, i need to learn how to help myself cope, to learn the things i can do to help myself succeed and graduate with skills that i know can make me simply a smidge happier, and thats why i booked my appointment at SWC.

For me personally, its an option worth exploring because four years of shit is just something that i now know i could have avoided if i just took the chance to find somebody to talk to, it could be chemical, it could be mental, it just could be bettering my coping skills, but I now know that I deserve to understand everything that happening within me. and the same may be for you.

there are alot of options on how to tackle it and it is completely up to you, ive taken my first step and just booking that appointment relieved alot of stress within me. this makes me look toward the future and i know saying "keep going, its okay itll get better, hang it there" are words of encouragement and soemtimes putting action in those words is very tough but i dont think there is any harm in going in for an appointment and just checking out your options, you arent commited to anything.

i hope this helps and if you want to message me i can let you know how my appointment went in general when i go to it so you have more information.

Be a man and DRINK till you're happy!
oh and stay away from pills ... call me old fashioned but i'd rather eat good than take meds(suppliments).
you could also start something on the side so you wont be "left alone with your thoughts" ... How about a novels .. my fav. is Jack Reacher-Lee child. check it out !

Hey John,

It sounds like everyone else has given some good advice on how to proceed from here but a few other things I'd consider.

First, your diet. Watch your refined sugars and processed foods as well as your intake of caffeine and alcohol. I know for me, when I'm eating poorly in the long term it takes a toll on my mental health.

Supplements. Vitamin D is a good idea, but also try magnesium... like vitamin D, most Canadians are deficient and it's made a HUGE difference for me. Definitely get some bloodwork done and consider a b-12 shot if necessary.

Try your hardest to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night and preferably more.

Support system... What is yours like? Maybe try to spend some time with a friend you can trust. Even if you don't want to discuss your depression with them, knowing they're there can make a difference.

Finally, just remember that a lot of people feel that way in first year... I certainly did, and my second year was where I really started to feel at home and invested in my education. Just keep doing your best and things will eventually seem less bleak.

Thanks for the positive responses guys. I just phoned the SWC and was told you cannot make an appointment by phone, you just have to walk in and then have a 20 minute meeting on a first come first serve basis after which scheduling is decided. These are the times they start for anyone interested.

monday 12:30
tuesday 2:30
wednesday 12:30
thursday and friday 1:30

I'll have to go tomorrow because I have class Thurs and Friday.

Originally Posted by throwaway1

I'm 19, male, in first year engineering living on campus. I've been feeling burnt out, anxious, and just extremely sad any time I'm left with my own thoughts. I did well first term (mostly 12s) but I'm falling further and further behind right now. I can't concentrate on studying. Barely getting any sleep (writing this at 4 am). No appetite. I have no clue whether I feel this way because I hate school right now or vice versa. I think about doing calculus the rest of my life and just want to drop out and dig holes in the sun for minimum wage. I'd drop out right now if I thought it would end this, but I have no clue what else I'd do that would make me any happier - and maybe my memory is hazy but I thought I actually enjoyed learning at one point.

I plan to schedule an appointment with the Student Wellness Centre later this week and I was just wondering if anyone could tell me what to expect.

Do they take blood work? I really hope this is some sort of chemical imbalance... I've fallen behind in school before and it didn't cause me to lie awake at night crying for no reason and feeling utter despair almost every day. I don't want to become a zombie on meds, but willpower just isn't doing it. I had a party on reading week, got drunk, had fun, but the next night I was just back to the way I am right now. I lie awake every night and feel completely empty and hopeless, the two months of non-stop work until summer seem like eternity and everyday it seems more likely that I'll still feel like this after exams anyways - like this is just my brain's default now - and that fucking terrifies me.

My week is busy (co-op class, midterm, epic labs, more catching up) so I probably won't be able to go until next weekend, in the meantime does anyone have advice on what to do about this? Has anyone been here? I don't want to feel this way anymore.

Hi,

I'm Alasdair, and I went to mac, now I'm a medical student at Western. Nothing of the following should be construed as medical advice.

What your appointment is like will probably depend on what type of appointment you made. If it is for counselling my experience was that they talked to me about how I felt, my ideas for what was making me feel that way, and suggested a plan to help me. (Without discussing my specifics, this may be anything from seeing the doctor, to one on one counselling, or group counselling).

If you see the doctor, they will likely ask you a bunch of questions (some of which may seem irrelevant to you, but trust me there are things that have to be asked of everyone, or they may be related to something potentially causing your symptoms). They may send you for blood tests (depending on their judgement of how likely a systematic cause, or they may do it just to make sure there isn't another cause). They may prescribe medications, counselling and/or adjunctive therapies (such as exercise).

If you choose to take any supplements make sure you tell the doctor, some supplements may mask problems (such as folate supplements masking a B12 deficiency) or may interact with medication they may prescribe.

Lastly, do not feel like you are alone. Many people struggle with depressive symptoms with causes ranging from Major Depressive Disorder to Thyroid problems. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

Good luck with your appointment!