Early this evening, I decided I'd go for a run on the treadmill. It's a good thing I have one at home where no one can witness the embarrassment that is Adelle, because after about three minutes I tripped over my shoelace (and I double-knot!) and was thrown into kingdom come, but not before a few seconds of America's Funniest Videos-style torture from the treadmill belt. The one time I don't attach that cord to my shorts...

In my adrenaline surge, I couldn't feel that skin had been ripped off of my legs, so I stood up, laughed like an idiot, and then turned the treadmill off. Only when it stopped moving did I see the catastrophic sight of skin on it, which prompted me to examine my legs.

Twenty minutes and a generous coating of Polysporin later, I decided that this pain is bearable and I'll go for a run, but outside this time. I drive for about 5 miles to the trail on which I usually run, and when I turn into the parking lot at the start of the trail, a bird hits my windshield and cracks it. I get out of the car to see if the bird is alright, and see that it left a massive splattering of blood all over the hood of my car (which it was still laying on).

A second bird flew out from somewhere and took the bird. I'm happy it solved the "how do I get this giant bird off my windshield?" crisis, but as the second bird tried to fly away with the first, it hit me in the chest. I stood for a few seconds, confused, before I got back in my car and parked it, then descended on my run.

I kept up a pretty good pace for a while, and there were no birds in sight - things were going well. Then I hear this loud fog horn and instinctively turn my head to the direction from which it came, but that was probably a bad idea because I accidentally veered off the trail, tripped over a huge rock and fell - hard. My first thought was "considering my luck today, there's no way I got out of that one without injuries." Sure enough, I threw up and then realized my abdomen felt pretty awful.

I take out my phone (suck on this, all of my friends that make fun of me for having my phone on me when I run) and phone my Dad to ask him to pick me up because I'm incapable of driving home. Luckily I was right next to a road and could see a sign so I knew where to tell him I'd be. However, it would be about ten minutes until he got there. I probably should have mentioned "I'm pretty sure I've broken something," but I was fairly confused and thought this would come across as whiny.

After a couple minutes of sitting on the rock I tripped over, I hear a sound and turn around to see a fox eating another dead fox. I make a "sssst!" noise, because I guess confusion makes you think foxes are like cats. The fox walks over to me, and begins to sniff me. I remained still in the hopes that it would go away, but then it starts licking one of my cuts from the treadmill. At this point, I half-jokingly think I'm about to be eaten by a fox, so I freaked out and starting yelling, hoping I could scare it away. I did.

At this point, an elderly couple on bikes pass me. The couple didn't stop, so I imagine my yelling led them to think I'm a deranged person who sits in wooded areas and screams into the night.

After a few more minutes, my Dad finds me sitting on the rock I tripped over. Being all "hilarious Dad," he jokingly asks if I ran too far and got tired. I explained why this was not funny.

I get into the emergency room, where I'm sitting for maybe 5 minutes while my Dad talks to the admitting staff. In these minutes, I'm subjected to a woman of possibly 80 years talking to me about how gross my leg looks and pointing out that I have blood all over my shirt. I said "it's alright, it's not mine" because I'm pretty sure it was from the bird. I realized that sounded terrible, but thought it funnier not to elaborate.

My day consisted of working my desk job and wasting time online. My evening consisted of ripping the skin off of my knees, my car's windshield needing to be replaced, vomiting on myself, being harassed by a cannibalistic fox, breaking two ribs, and getting a concussion.

Pissin' me off. On the upside, I now have the week off work and have to remain pretty sedentary for a while. Free time suggestions?

wow that must of wreaked havoc on your BGs

Too long, didn't read.

I kid...Damn thats a ****ed up story. Well it could have been worse... I guess.. Atleast ur still alive

Damn, just read the last sentence.

Just relax and watch some TV shows. Pick a series and watch the whole thing :p

It doesn't happen to me (not all at once, at least), but I know I'd hate all of those happening to me.

You're so great for just handling all that pain. I'd be like...

...for days after seeing the ripped skin. -doesn't have good pain tolerance-

to the point: I watched "Threat Level Midnight" (the movie, not the episode) twice after getting my wisdom teeth taken.

wow. are you okay?

p.s. pictures would help.

Originally Posted by butterscotch

wow that must of wreaked havoc on your BGs

I'll assume you're camelsrfun because I don't know why anyone would have read the catastrophe that was that thread if they weren't partaking in it, haha. Unless you're someone who knows me, I guess.

I'm slightly more concerned about the concussion, because I'm not familiar with those. Also pissed off about my shirt... effin' birds.

EDIT: That sounded bitchier than I meant it. I don't mean the concept of the thread was a catastrophe, just the argument was messy.

Originally Posted by Scuderia

wow. are you okay?

p.s. pictures would help.

Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks!

I'm not sure what you'd like pictures of. I'm planning on taking the gauze off my knees to change it tomorrow, so I guess I could take a picture of those.

Originally Posted by justinsftw

to the point: I watched "Threat Level Midnight" (the movie, not the episode) twice after getting my wisdom teeth taken.

I was thinking I'd just sit around and watch The Food Network, but that's also a good option.

Originally Posted by alh24

I'll assume you're camelsrfun because I don't know why anyone would have read the catastrophe that was that thread if they weren't partaking in it, haha. Unless you're someone who knows me, I guess.

I'm slightly more concerned about the concussion, because I'm not familiar with those. Also pissed off about my shirt... effin' birds.

EDIT: That sounded bitchier than I meant it. I don't mean the concept of the thread was a catastrophe, just the argument was messy.

Okay then. I'm impressed the doctor who discharged you was so comfortable assuming such potential liability.

Originally Posted by butterscotch

Okay than I am impressed the doctor who discharged you was so comfortable assuming such potential liability.

Yep, definitely camelsrfun.

Originally Posted by justinsftw

It doesn't happen to me (not all at once, at least), but I know I'd hate all of those happening to me.

You're so great for just handling all that pain. I'd be like...

...for days after seeing the ripped skin. -doesn't have good pain tolerance-

to the point: I watched "Threat Level Midnight" (the movie, not the episode) twice after getting my wisdom teeth taken.

Also, I accepted a transfer offer and won't be on MacInsiders anymore because that's traitor territory... But I'll come creep threads when the next season of The Office starts to see what you think Good luck getting into your programs next year!

Originally Posted by alh24

Yep, definitely camelsrfun.

You have a concussion, a fairly bad wound which you treated with polysporin (how on earth do you not have fucidin on hand given your situation?) and a serious chronic illness that shall remain nameless. But they sent you on your merry way ? or did you leave AMA ? call patient relations and let them know what happened !

I hope at least your claim is that the hospital you went to is in a backwater (because an ER doc would have an internal medicine consult called in on you before you could say tegaderm )

Originally Posted by butterscotch

You have a concussion, a fairly bad wound which you treated with polysporin (how on earth do you not have fucidin on hand given your situation?) and a serious chronic illness that shall remain nameless. But they sent you on your merry way ? or did you leave AMA ? call patient relations and let them know what happened !

The doctors didn't think the leg cuts were much to worry about besides putting something (Bactra-something? Bactracet, maybe?) on and gauzing over them. When did I say I was "sent on my merry way?" or that I decided to leave when I shouldn't have, or that it was a quick process? I think the doctors, who are very capable of doing their jobs, were aware of what they were doing and aware of things they need to look out for.

I appreciate the concern, if it's genuine and you're not just having a go. I was told that the ribs healing might take a bit longer than they typically do and some routine things were done (routine for that kind of situation, if you're familiar with it), but it didn't seem like anything was completely wrong, and they said to come back if needed (as they usually tell people).

Originally Posted by alh24

The doctors didn't think the leg cuts were much to worry about besides putting something (Bactra-something? Bactracet, maybe?) on and gauzing over them. When did I say I was "sent on my merry way?" or that I decided to leave when I shouldn't have? I think the doctors, who are very capable of doing their jobs, were aware of what they were doing.

I appreciate the concern, if it's genuine and you're not just having a go. I was told that the ribs healing might take a bit longer than they typically do and some routine things were done, but it didn't seem like anything was completely wrong, but to come back if needed (as they usually tell people).

And have you been testing for ketones ?
Are you sure the fox wasn't a Pomeranian?

I didnt read your story sorry but your probably fat.