(This post is written to girls since it is probably less common to have a girl approach a guy. However, if that's the case and you are a guy, gender reverse the questions.)

Girls,

For those of you that remember having been approached by a guy or have thought about it:

When/where was it? Who were you with? Friends? How many? By yourself?

What did he say/do?

Do you like being approached?

How do you prefer being approached? When/Where? Should the guy make casual conversation or be direct and state his interest in you? How?

What do you look for in a guy if he approaches you and his intentions are clear? (Be more specific than "if he's cute". Do you look for a good hair style? Good looking clothes? Cleanliness? Smile?)

Do you give off subtle cues (that you are aware of) that signals to a guy that you want him to come talk to you?

Did you give your number/plan to meet up again later? Why/why not?

Do you ever approach guys?

Other comments for discussion?

Where: Outside Mills. I was by myself, sitting on the ledge, reading a textbook. Thats the most recent example I can think of. There have been others.

What did he do: (Again, going by the most recent example )He said hi. It was around the time Imaginus was on campus, so he asked if I had checked out the poster sale.

Do I like being approached: It has its ups and downs. For the most part, I suppose, it is nice.

How do I prefer being approachd: I likel conversation, although it has to be actual legit conversation. You can always tell when people are making small talk for the sake of social obligation, so they can just get to their questions already. I want it to be comfortable and easy.

What I look for: Smiles. Best feature of any person.

Do I give my number/plan to meet up later: I have given my number before, but that person and I are just great friends. I have turned down offers for my number before. Have yet to meet up with someone.

Subtle clues: I don't know how to answer this. People tell me I'm a flirt, I do it all the time without even realizing I am. Which is horrible. But I suppose eye contact is a huge indicator.

Do I ever approach guys: Not for the purposes you're asking about, I haven't

@AelyaS:

Well, didn't mean to make this read like a formal survey or anything.

Could you say more about the ups and downs? Also, are you saying you don't like it if a guy would come up to you and say you're cute and that they want to get to know you (ie. being direct)?

Out of curiosity why haven't you approached anyone? (Assuming you have seen someone you wanted to talk to/get to know).

Originally Posted by NowHere

@AelyaS:

Well, didn't mean to make this read like a formal survey or anything.

Could you say more about the ups and downs? Also, are you saying you don't like it if a guy would come up to you and say you're cute and that they want to get to know you (ie. being direct)?

Out of curiosity why haven't you approached anyone? (Assuming you have seen someone you wanted to talk to/get to know).

Generally, I love being approached. Although I do it all the time, I don't like initiating anything (especially when I'm really interested in the person).
It helps the ego, plain and simple. It makes you feel good.
The only time I don't like it is when I find the person really unattractive/gross. It's like, "really? why me?" Pretty douchey, but true.

I'm a pretty direct person but if somebody came right up to me and said "hey you're cute I want to know you better," that would just irritate me. You want to get to know me better? For what, friendship? If yes, then what does me being cute have to do with anything? If it's for something more, then he should say something more along the lines of, "hey you're cute, let's go out." Indirectness sucks.

I am not a good sample population though.

Judging from your past posts, and this one, you seem fairly socially awkward, it's like you didn't even read the responses to your previous thread. I'm embarrassed just thinking about you hitting on some random girl, that poor girl...

Originally Posted by NowHere

@AelyaS:

Well, didn't mean to make this read like a formal survey or anything.

Could you say more about the ups and downs? Also, are you saying you don't like it if a guy would come up to you and say you're cute and that they want to get to know you (ie. being direct)?

Out of curiosity why haven't you approached anyone? (Assuming you have seen someone you wanted to talk to/get to know).

The ups being that it's flattering and you get to interact with interesting people. Not every person who approaches you ends up being a potential hookup/partner. Sometimes, even they realize that you two would make better friends than anything else. Also, I think it's attractive when guys approach girls.

You're right, I am saying that I wouldnt like it if a guy just walked up to me and said "You're cute" because not only does it have the potential to be really creepy, but like Lawleypop said, if you want to get to know me, what does me being have to do with anything? I udnerstand that how someone looks/behaves is what intially draws us to them, but don't make that so obvious. It's less painful that way if you realize that it's not going to work out. Both of you feel stupid after.

I need to rethink my "haven't approached anyone" statement. I approach people all the time, but it's not like I stop and think "He's cute, I will go approach him now". It sort of just happens. People fascinate me so I talk to everyone. I realize that the chances of someone actually reciprocating decent conversation is about 50/50, but the results of the better 50 are so worth the effort.

Originally Posted by Souldier

Judging from your past posts, and this one, you seem fairly socially awkward, it's like you didn't even read the responses to your previous thread. I'm embarrassed just thinking about you hitting on some random girl, that poor girl...

What can I say, genius lives in awkwardness? I'm embarrassed by your post. What positivity you contribute to your social circle I wonder. Perhaps I should have laughed at that post? Then maybe I can see your value in comedic terms, but the delivery just wasn't there.

Originally Posted by NowHere

What can I say, genius lives in awkwardness? I'm embarrassed by your post. What positivity you contribute to your social circle I wonder. Perhaps I should have laughed at that post? Then maybe I can see your value in comedic terms, but the delivery just wasn't there.

...ummm...okay...than ks for proving my point.

Originally Posted by Souldier

...ummm...okay...than ks for proving my point.

Yeah this thread is really stupid..

@lawleypop, @AelyaS:

Well here's what I was thinking. When someone approaches you, in your head you are probably on some level thinking why they are talking to me, I don't know this person. I thought the direct statement of "Hi, I think you're cute, would like to get to know you" can serve to break the ice on that issue. Also, if the response is positive, there might be something there. If the response is negative, the chances of that are less. Don't you enjoy knowing that when you like a person they like you back? This is purely visual of course and hence the "would like to get to know you" still leaves the door open for ending up not liking the person due to their personality or whatever. Let's not kid ourselves, visual is a big part of it. Or is it not?

@Souldier, @Kendoon:

Nobody forced you to post in this thread. Further, you are not contributing to the conversation.

Originally Posted by NowHere

@lawleypop, @AelyaS:

Well here's what I was thinking. When someone approaches you, in your head you are probably on some level thinking why they are talking to me, I don't know this person. I thought the direct statement of "Hi, I think you're cute, would like to get to know you" can serve to break the ice on that issue. Also, if the response is positive, there might be something there. If the response is negative, the chances of that are less. Don't you enjoy knowing that when you like a person they like you back? This is purely visual of course and hence the "would like to get to know you" still leaves the door open for ending up not liking the person due to their personality or whatever. Let's not kid ourselves, visual is a big part of it. Or is it not?

Nobody is kidding anyone, I'll be the first to say that looks are #1. But unless you plan on saying, "you're cute, let's bang," leave the cute part out of it. It has no place in first meeting somebody. If you're socially awkward and you're making this thread for advice, here's the advice: don't approach somebody like that.

getting to know somebody =/= let's go out or anything remotely similar.

This is so funny, because I was just asked out on the bus two days ago. It was super awkward.

He seemed like a nice guy, but the biggest problem was probably that it was on the bus and I was alone. I don't like talking to strangers in the downtown Hamilton area, and it's not like I can easily leave the conversation on the bus.
He was nice, asked what my program was at school, etc. When I was getting off the bus, he asked I wanted to go out sometime.

Besides the fact that I have a boyfriend, I would never go out with someone I just met. I don't think this is necessarily for all girls - it's just me. Even though he was friendly and nice, I would never go out with someone I don't know. It seems kind of weird to me. If you don't know me, why do you want to go out with me? That implies to me that he only wants to talk to me because of my looks, and I don't really like that. I would much prefer if I was friends with a guy before he asked me on a date. (Actually, the only guys I have ever dated have been my friends first)

I can't really answer the other questions. I've been a relationship for 5 years, so I haven't approached guys or wanted them to approach me for a long time!

(Also, don't worry about posting this kind of thread. You'll never know if you don't ask, right? )

Originally Posted by NowHere

@Souldier, @Kendoon:

Nobody forced you to post in this thread. Further, you are not contributing to the conversation.

Sounds like you need to stop analyzing every social encounter with a female you have or don't have, this type of analysis only leads to self-hate and it's boring.

Originally Posted by Kathy2

This is so funny, because I was just asked out on the bus two days ago. It was super awkward.

He seemed like a nice guy, but the biggest problem was probably that it was on the bus and I was alone. I don't like talking to strangers in the downtown Hamilton area, and it's not like I can easily leave the conversation on the bus.
He was nice, asked what my program was at school, etc. When I was getting off the bus, he asked I wanted to go out sometime.

Besides the fact that I have a boyfriend, I would never go out with someone I just met. I don't think this is necessarily for all girls - it's just me. Even though he was friendly and nice, I would never go out with someone I don't know. It seems kind of weird to me. If you don't know me, why do you want to go out with me? That implies to me that he only wants to talk to me because of my looks, and I don't really like that. I would much prefer if I was friends with a guy before he asked me on a date. (Actually, the only guys I have ever dated have been my friends first)

I can't really answer the other questions. I've been a relationship for 5 years, so I haven't approached guys or wanted them to approach me for a long time!

(Also, don't worry about posting this kind of thread. You'll never know if you don't ask, right? )

Everyone thinks that works. That you'd rather go out with someone you are friends with first. But here's the problem, you end up ruining the whole friendship if he doesn't like you back! And then it gets super awkward and you're likely to either A) stop beng friends or B) keep being friends but now it's totally awkward and things are never like it was before.

But, that's the risk you take I guess... I tried that, it was horrible. I guess it's different if you met someone and THEN want to be friends first, but if he is someone you have known for a long time and THEN you develop feelings for him, it doesn't always work out and then you've messed up a really good thing.

They say "forget the risk, take the fall. If it's meant to be, it's worth it all." LIES!!!