I'm just wondering if anyone else here ever used Cipralex or any other SSRI for depression. What was your experience like? Did it help?

I've had depression for about a year and a half now. After feeling like shit for so long, I finally made the decision to see the Student Wellness Centre last month. After an appointment with a counsellor and a doctor, I was clinically diagnosed, and was prescribed Cipralex a week ago.

So after four days on Cipralex, I'm sitting here all drowsy and with a pounding headache. I slept 14 hours last night and I'm still feeling sleepy. I have an exam this Friday that I haven't started studying for, and of course I'm using my depression and headache as an excuse but I know that isn't the reason. The reason is I'm lazy, unmotivated piece of shit and I cannot apply myself.

That's something I've been noticing a lot lately. I think I use my depression as an excuse for doing nothing. But the truth is I'm lazy. And knowing that just makes the depression worse.

I'm in my fourth year in university. I was supposed to have found a supervisor for my independent project/thesis next year already (I'm staying a 5th year). I haven't started looking. I don't even have any professors in mind. The thought of doing a thesis scares me. I don't even know what I want to do when I graduate. I only have 3 courses this semester and still I can't find time to study because I procrastinate and waste it all away. The days I do go to school, it's an hour and a half commute, go to classes, and return home. The days I don't, I stay at home and waste time.

I'm 20, I still live at home, and I'm entirely dependent on my parents. My parents are paying my way through university and I feel as if I'm wasting their time and money and I'm just a huge disappointment. To everyone. To them and to myself. I haven't even had a job as yet. My resume is empty. I tried applying to a couple places but I know I didn't look hard enough and I didn't apply to enough places. I feel as if I won't be a functional member of society, with anything to contribute. I'm just a waste of space. I'm such a disappointment to everyone. I'm lazy.

I'm tired of feeling like shit, but I know I deserve to feel like shit. I haven't done anything worthwhile with my life so far to be worthy of feeling otherwise.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't want pity or attention. I guess I just want hope or something.

Does it get better?

Depression makes you feel like you're lazy/worthless...but it really is the depression.

Cipralex tends to work well for many people, but not for everyone. I tried it and it made things way WAY worse (whereas one of my immediate family members uses it and it works very well for him), so I switched to something else that worked wonders. I never would have believed that medication alone would work so well for depression, but it has made a HUGE difference in my life. I went from completely suicidal to back to myself again, happy and motivated and able to focus, my energy and memory have more or less returned, and it's pretty awesome.

I switched off of Cipralex after about a week because it made things way worse, but typically it takes 6-8 weeks for the drugs to kick in - you notice the side effects before you'll notice any benefit. It's like that with any antidepressant, unfortunately, and it's not uncommon to have to try a few different drugs to find one that works. I was lucky that I found one on my second try. If you can't live with the side effects or you feel like things are getting worse, then talk to your doctor about switching to something else.

Anyways, lots of people will tell you that drugs aren't the answer, antidepressants are overprescribed, people are overmedicated, etc etc etc. That doesn't mean it won't help you. Scientists/doctors don't know much about depression or how it works, so it's really difficult to pick the right drug for each person, but once you get the right drug, it's amazing.

Let me tell you something real quick. There are thousands of young people who are 20, and even older, who are at home living with their parents. It is the reality for many people, and it saves a ton of money. I'm not 20 yet but I know of a few people who have depended on their parents until even age 25. Point is, you're still a young one, do not feel guilty. Do not feel guilty, your parents clearly love you very much, they want you to succeed and will stand by you even now, as you feel as though you are failing. On another note, I know there are several forms of depression, I know myself, I've struggled with it. But I turned it around. One of the secrets was, i never took any drugs. I used self healing and asked for advice for healthier natural ways to overcome depression. But this is about you, and you are not a waste of space at all. You are overly stressed, which may be a contributing factor to your diagnosis of depression. To reduce your stress, I suggest doing things that make you happy. What makes you happy? What clears your mind? I know it is hard, I know you feel foggy and drained, but look. This is just one moment of sadness in the larger perspective of life. Relax a little bit. You feel like you're failing your family, you feel like a burden, but no. You must realize that they love you, and in times of your stress, hopefully understand your scenario. I know, it's very hard to build up a résumé, it's not fun, it's not easy either. It's hard to find motivation to overcome what you feel is laziness, but sometimes, the factors of fear and stress can be making you less motivated to do so. Take a few breaths of air, read something, go outdoors and look around for a bit or walk in nature. Do this with a friend, or, join a club that interests you. It's great that you've taken the steps to feeling better by getting help, this is a wonderful initiative taken by yourself, and the fact that you recognize your scenarios and took the initiative to seek help is a great accomplishment into the road to feeling 'alive' again. I don't know what programs you're in, I don't know your work load, but you should turn that idea off for just one second and focus on you. It's hard to focus when you feel so down, I know, I've been there too. I wish I could reach out to you and talk with you face to face, but I want you to know that you are anything but a disappointment. Life is hard, but the initiative you are taking to get better is showing a sign that you actually can make significant contributions to the world around you, it's within you, and even though I don't know your life, I don't know what you're majoring in, but I can tell you that things will get better if you tell yourself one positive thing everyday. Try to think positively, do not put yourself down, you have much to offer. When you feel a bit better, you could take your positive mindset and try to find a job that interests you. When you focus on taking care of your mental health, your motivation will increase, and you will become content with yourself and feel fulfilled. Or maybe, reaching out to others who are feeling the same, can also make you feel ten times better.
I wish you all the best.

Have you considered life sciences is not the program for you? All your self worth issues are probably located around not really making any progress towards the sort of person you think you should be, and there's nothing wrong with changing things up. Part of the reasons why I stuck it out in engineering was because you don't really need a 'thesis' per-say, as the culmination of your degree is in a group project.

Anti-depresants: there is no one-pill-cures-all solution to treating mental health. Cipralex, citalophram, welbutrin, effexor, etc etc will only be effective to a certain degree for particular individuals. Psychopharmacology is a trial-and-error process that usually repeats in 3 month intervals, if properly reassessed by your physician or psychiatrist. If you don't get improvements in mood, and are suffering side effects for a considerable period of time, you should tell your doctor and hopefully change medication.

As to 'does it get better?'... that's not an easy question to answer, because it depends on what steps you take to change your situation. I know many people who have been in your exact situation and have turned their lives around -- even though a lot of what you seem to be dealing with is profesional/academic success, I can guarantee improving interpersonal relationships and getting more involved with groups wouldn't be a bad idea.

SSRIs are useful medications, but they often take 6-8 weeks to start taking effect. Often times, it's the physical symptoms of depression (fatigue, poor appetite) that improve before mood improves. With respect to the side effects, often with time the headaches go away once your body adjusts to the medication. Be sure to go to your follow-up appointment to evaluate your response to an appropriate trial.

With that said, you seem to have a lot of negative perceptions that are causing some mood problems. You might benefit from cognitive behavioural therapy through counselling in addition to medications. http://wellness.mcmaster.ca/counsell...unselling.html

Originally Posted by RyanC

As to 'does it get better?'... that's not an easy question to answer, because it depends on what steps you take to change your situation. I know many people who have been in your exact situation and have turned their lives around -- even though a lot of what you seem to be dealing with is profesional/academic success, I can guarantee improving interpersonal relationships and getting more involved with groups wouldn't be a bad idea.

I disagree. It always gets better, as long as you hold on and pull through.

Talk to your doctor about Atomoxetine.

Meditate.

Get the necessary written proofs of this stuff going on to defer exams / help your education. don't let this cause you to fail. it is not your fault.

Hey dude, its not you, its the negative thoughts talking all that smack. SSRIs worked for me, after some long adjustments which made things worse first for me. But I'm thankful.

Excellent advice from the posts above though, defer exams since you're absolutely not gonna be able to do your best right now, and it'll only make things worse after doing bad on them (Haha, I suppose not everyone is the same).

Lastly, if you think you've failed at the present life, restart it on your terms then, think about it like a game, although a bit more seriously, where you have what you have and your first tutorial is according to how you ideally want to enjoy what time you have. It doesn't matter if you're leeching off your parents, that's their choice to provide for you. I'm sure you won't understand or able to accept it right now, but keep your mind open.

Things CAN get better as long as you design some hope for yourself.

You sound exactly like me (well me 2 years ago). I was diagnosed with depression near the end of my second year and I felt the same exact way as you. The biggest part of it for me was my utter lack of motivation to do anything.

Since then, although I haven't been on medications, I have regular personal counseling sessions and go to the gym at least three times a week. This has helped me quite a lot and my grades have slowly improved to how they were in first year and even better.

Now that I'm getting better, one thing that keeps me grounded is thinking about what concrete things I can possibly do in the future. It makes me feel that I'm not so hopeless...

You can also try the Student Wellness Center run group CBT sessions which focus on behavioural activation, managing your emotions, etc. http://wellness.mcmaster.ca/counselling/group.html

As for your plans after graduation, I highly recommend the Student Success Center's Career Planning Group. It was a pretty empowering session for me. You can find more info on it here: http://studentsuccess.mcmast er.ca/...ssessment.html

Dear Yogurt,

I 2nd all the related advice on this thread, but also know that your problems don't define you. This is a very brief time in your life, and what follows for the years to come WILL get better. Make sure you don't isolate and work small baby steps towards overcoming your fears, and problems. Take 1 day at a time, and don't be too hard on yourself.

I hope that helps

Hey Yogurt,

I've had both good and bad experiences on SSRIs, and they did help me "get over the hump," so to speak, with my anxiety issues. Others have covered most of what I wanted to say, so I won't repeat it all but I will say that you should give it time to work. If the side effects are really unbearable, go back and get something else. I'll also say that I no longer take them by choice because the long-term side effects became a bit too much for me.

Outside of/in conjunction with meds, there are other things you can do for yourself. Up your fruit and vegetable intake and up your omega-3s. Cut back on the processed food, refined sugars, caffeine and alcohol. If you smoke weed, quit or cut back. Exercise! Even just getting outside for a walk and fresh air helps me clear my head. Yoga and meditation have also worked wonders for me, and there are lots of vids on youtube to help you along. Seek counseling or a trusted friend to whom you can vent. Journal. Try to make room each day or so for some activity you enjoy. Make a to-do list with all the things you need to get done and tackle one thing a day.

It sounds like a lot of your problem is just that you're bored and floundering, and you're certainly not the first person to have that problem in your early 20s. I'd suggest getting a job or doing some volunteer work to add another dimension to your life. You'd be surprised how much the change can lift your mood.

Best of luck!

I would suggest you assess your life; what is causing your depression? Do you have an addiction problem or a social one? It usually helps to stop and think about what is causing your depression rather than how depression has affected you. Most of the time, depression is a disease of the heart (i.e. a spiritual one). If medicinal prescriptions do not work, I would recommend that you look into the religion of your forefathers and seek a spiritual a remedy.

I wish you the best of luck on your future endeavour.
All the best.

--
Hold on, if your 20, you must have entered uni 2 years before the average person! Thats amazing!!!

Hi Yogurt,

I can certainly relate to what you are going through, as I have also had a tumultuous past with Depression over the past few years at Mac. Having reached my lowest point last year I can say with confidence that it does get better.

I started off with Cipralex as well, and I'll admit that I did not find it efficacious. Unfortunately, SSRI's require trial and error. And some of the side effects are shitty, but you have to weigh them with how they've improved your mood. Currently I'm on Zoloft, been on for about 4 months, and my mood has changed immensely. Down side? I've gained ~20 pounds in the process (And I workout 3 x a week, eat relatively healthy, and have never been this weight in my life). So, that was shitty, but right now, I'll deal with it because I'd rather be a few pounds heavier than revert back to how I was feeling before.

I'm was not entirely dependent upon the meds for my recovery, though. I got myself a psychiatrist, and you can do the same if you can get a referral to Community Psychiatric Services at St. Joes. It's a great program - you get to see a psychiatric nurse once a week for therapy-related activities, and she'll advocate for you should a medication change be needed. You'll also meet with your psychiatrist as needed. I also bought (you can download) the book Mind Over Mood, a great resource for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Mood Gym, an Australian based initiative, is fantastic for solidifying CBT skills as well. There are group therapy sessions offered through mac (I believe they have CBT, I'm doing DBT next semester and self-esteem ).

Tl;dr - it's therapy and meds. Meds give you the ability to seek out those resources to recover. It will get better. Take it one day at a time. And feel free to PM me .

Hey

I've been depressed and have had GAD since I hit puberty but the past three-ish years there has been a huge drop in my moods. I've been on Cipralex for over two months now and I totally get what you mean. The first month it made me a MESS. I was sleeping all of the time, missing classes and tests, crying a lot....just wasn't a lot of fun. I didn't really talk about it either which obviously was a bad call on my part.
The second month has been MUCH better, I feel like myself again but I feel happier and calmer. I was always terrified of taking antidepressants but now I don't regret it at all.

I still have issues with what you call "laziness" but it isn't laziness at all, it's depression. It's not something that is easy to deal with but we will eventually get better. Most professors are completely understanding of our situations and parents tend to be once you actually discuss it with them. My parents were not very supportive at first because they couldn't understand why I never spoke about it before, they didn't understand that most people with depression just don't talk about it before they are diagnosed. You are not weird, you are normal and you are NOT failure.

If you ever want to talk to someone that uses the same medication as you or would like to talk about experiences with depression and anxiety feel free to message me. I've gone through hell over the past few years but I'm slowly seeing the light, I'd love to discuss that with you.