EPIC 3 WORD STORY... TYPED... AKA, an english major's horror, aka REALLY RANDOM
07-12-2009 at 11:46 PM
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EPIC 3 WORD STORY... TYPED... AKA, an english major's horror, aka REALLY RANDOM
So before I show you guys the story, I just want to give
A HUGE THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO PARTICIPATED!
A few things I did:
Roughly 99.5% of the words are as is. The other 0.5%, i changed the tense to make it at least fit into the story because some posts were posted spontaneously (and thus, made absolutely no sense).
I added some punctuation markings.
I also added words like "and" "so" to make some of the spontaneous posts fit into the story.... some still don't make much sense
I made the entire story double spaced so as to not put too much strain on your eyes =)
You will know why I named the story that title when you have read until the end.
100% of the posts were used. (thanks everyone!)
Now for the moment of truth..
*drum roll*
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Google overlord
By: McMaster students
There once was a dog named “lol” but he died. So then
his neighbour went and whistled for a cab but a snarky
hippopotamus shoved him down causing him to bump
into a large garden gnome who smiled and surprisingly
started to cry and to point to the east where a weird
looking thing was standing naked. Immediately, the
neighbour got angry and decided that they would
discard their prized half-eaten sandwich and also
discard their giant watermelon, then finally they ran to
the tool shed where they started doing the macareana.
Afterward they decided that it was time to do the time
warp again. They landed in Madagascar. Where they
saw all kinds of cool penguins and huge lions, funny
thing was a brown lion was trying to find a way to get
those tiny little rats to learn calculus so that he would
become a master of the ancient art of banana peeling
since a competition was going to begin. Competitors
would be animals of the forest that had herpes and
smelled really really aweful but still they decided to go
have sex and a hairy old chimpanzee named Courtney
began to jump up and down so that he really had to
find a large book about antidisestablishmenta rianism.
The book was too confusing so he climbed up over
9000 ladders in order to pee from above and splatter
all. The urine landed on these babies who pooped in
the endless abyss known as intelligence. Suddenly
Heidi Klum opened her mouth saying, “that’s hot” and
then suddenly a bird pooped looking at that. No one
was safe for even five hot hours and a split second.
Anyways Heidi decided to not be a big fat whale that
never wanted to have her hand chopped off and
instead went to the mall where a gang was sleeping to
avoid her hand. She looked around only to see that her
legs were covered in a mysterious brown slime that
smelled like dinosaur poop so then she started
stripping in the toy store with very large boobs that
were covered in orange spiders. Sadly he ate all the
autobots that rolled out. Suddenly, Megatron decides
to take some chocolate chip cookies and serious butt
beating by a hairy Optimus Prime who took a razor and
sliced it’s left middle finger without being able to do
anything remotely sane when something started to boil
like a bowl of white cumulus clouds that were very
happy to be liquefied. Then suddenly MeganFox bought
a ton of crazy expensive fat hungry hippos who eat
ewoks and then proceeded to regurgitate them
multiple times because they had bad essay writing
skills and because they were smelly and dumb. No
offense to dirty old socks. Suddenly the hippos moving
two steps broke through the wall of jello and started
singing “Oh Canada” until a raging storm hit the
nearest toil booth where a gang of completely useless
teenagers were playing Jumanji with Robin Williams.
Then a hundred flying elephants appeared and started
pushing rabid squirrels over with white picket fences
just for fun. Soon, a random three year old peanut
butter sandwich is eaten by Chuch Norris, causing him
to become a very big reincarnation of his pet turtle.
This huge creature destroyed the entire world juts by
using Bounty quicker picker-upper. He ate the bounty
and pooped. But then, a giant bumble bee stung the
turtle and he bumped his head with a smelly castrated
mutated dolphin that sang like a crazy old Rick rolling
washed-up imitator that never stops and never gona
until the day he superman that hoe and marries Lois
Lane and gets a penny stuck up his blue cape and
started to spell out words that sounded like dead fish
and crying orange mermaids which were crying for their
mommies. After spelling out some incredibly long
green beaver tails that looked like an ugly banana
covered in marshmallows, superman went for lunch at
Tim’s. Suddenly, a big noisy fly saucer came by to grab
a fork and stuck it into its spaghetti. Unfortunately,
the spaghetti got tangled with balls of yarn which
made the cats very angry which in turn helped the big
bad wolf to give blow job to the nearby three little
pigs. The pigs caught a bad case of contagious syphilis
of piggy herpy but then, someone caught another bad
strain of a virus that originated from a rabid horse
poop in Antartica. This strain caused bleeding elbows
and random episodes of high-pitched singing while the
cats pretended they were pandas with a knife who cut
themselves and bled strawberry jello so the
psychiatrist decided to give a rubber chicken to cure
this. However, instead it caused a new explosion of
some kind which could ignite marshmallows and make
them radioactive which causes the long beaver tails to
grow on some very large trees which are resistant to
the extremely strong pressure of peers and vices like
alcohol. Then a huge ant tried to poo in a car where
Bush was sleeping then he dreamt that Obama came
to steal his wife but then suddenly the wife turned into
Bill Clinton only to see him getting a sandwich from
the poo smelling monster who loved butterflies.
Slowly, a big rubber chicken attacked all the butterflies
instead of killing the wild hippos causing 31 strange-
looking giraffes to jump and dance like 90’s boy bands.
The rubber chicken was cooked too and caused the
chicken to resurrect and freaked out and ate its own
body while chewing on a toy penguin called “Razavaq”
in order to have a bubble-gum stuck up his rear end
only in order to be able to forget that it was Monday
which tragically meant that he forgot to turn off the
nuclear reactor before the googly eyed monster began
to google his unknown family tree and found out they
were related to Father Time. Finally, a small girl
appeared saying....The end, yo!”
BlakeM, Chad, EngLufLuf, goodnews.inc, Harlequin, kanishka, micadjems, Monaco, Mz.Morra13, sinthusized, temara.brown, zango, _Luu_
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07-12-2009 at 11:48 PM
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#2
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Heh, I can't believe you went and typed it all up lol.
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Gregory Darkeff
Alumni 2011 - Honors Commerce and Economics Minor
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07-12-2009 at 11:49 PM
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"Slowly, a big rubber chicken attacked all the butterflies
instead of killing the wild hippos causing 31 strange-
looking giraffes to jump and dance like 90’s boy bands."
LMAO!!!
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07-12-2009 at 11:50 PM
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My best pal finds Heidi Klum beautiful so I stuck that in there cause I was thinking about him when I read the thread
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Emma Ali
Honours Life Sciences
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07-12-2009 at 11:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PTGregD
Heh, I can't believe you went and typed it all up lol.
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=P i said i'd do it.. and i did XD, that's the sort of attitude i need to succeed in uni too. Staying true to my words.
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07-12-2009 at 11:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by killza
=P i said i'd do it.. and i did XD, that's the sort of attitude i need to succeed in uni too. Staying true to my words.
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Heh, good attitude!
Keep that up in classes and you'll do great!
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Gregory Darkeff
Alumni 2011 - Honors Commerce and Economics Minor
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07-13-2009 at 12:08 AM
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HAHAH! Awesome thread! How long did it take you to type it all up ?
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Mary Keyes CA 2013-2014
Hons. Biology and Pharmacology V
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07-13-2009 at 12:09 AM
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Master and Commander
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Unbelievable.
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Will Mountain
Kinesiology '12 w/ Minor in Origins Research
fordays.ca <--- Go there. It is really really fun.
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07-13-2009 at 12:13 AM
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Words can't describe the meltdown my brain is having from reading that. Haha, we should do another. It reminds me of those mad lib things.
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07-13-2009 at 12:15 AM
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Lol, a good laugh! Love all the run-on sentences
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Jeremy Han
McMaster Alumni - Honours Molecular Biology and Genetics
Pennsylvania College of Optometry at Salus University Third Year - Doctor of Optometry
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07-13-2009 at 12:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jhan523
Lol, a good laugh! Love all the run-on sentences
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Haha I know! I bet all our Eng. teachers would commit suicide at the sight of this XD
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Mary Keyes CA 2013-2014
Hons. Biology and Pharmacology V
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07-13-2009 at 01:32 AM
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Awesome lol. Who knew, Chuck Norris enjoys eating three-year-old sandwiches
...and yeah Jake, Rubber Chickens FTW!
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Last edited by Joseph : 07-13-2009 at 01:35 AM.
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07-13-2009 at 01:34 AM
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Can't believe we all contributed to that.. XD
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07-13-2009 at 09:50 AM
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That was truly epic. Good job killza!
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07-13-2009 at 09:54 AM
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haha awesome, so hard to read at points but so good!
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