So before I show you guys the story, I just want to give
A HUGE THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO PARTICIPATED!

A few things I did:

Roughly 99.5% of the words are as is. The other 0.5%, i changed the tense to make it at least fit into the story because some posts were posted spontaneously (and thus, made absolutely no sense).

I added some punctuation markings.

I also added words like "and" "so" to make some of the spontaneous posts fit into the story.... some still don't make much sense

I made the entire story double spaced so as to not put too much strain on your eyes =)

You will know why I named the story that title when you have read until the end.

100% of the posts were used. (thanks everyone!)

Now for the moment of truth..


*drum roll*


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The Google overlord
By: McMaster students

There once was a dog named “lol” but he died. So then

his neighbour went and whistled for a cab but a snarky

hippopotamus shoved him down causing him to bump

into a large garden gnome who smiled and surprisingly

started to cry and to point to the east where a weird

looking thing was standing naked. Immediately, the

neighbour got angry and decided that they would

discard their prized half-eaten sandwich and also

discard their giant watermelon, then finally they ran to

the tool shed where they started doing the macareana.

Afterward they decided that it was time to do the time

warp again. They landed in Madagascar. Where they

saw all kinds of cool penguins and huge lions, funny

thing was a brown lion was trying to find a way to get

those tiny little rats to learn calculus so that he would

become a master of the ancient art of banana peeling

since a competition was going to begin. Competitors

would be animals of the forest that had herpes and

smelled really really aweful but still they decided to go

have sex and a hairy old chimpanzee named Courtney

began to jump up and down so that he really had to

find a large book about antidisestablishmenta rianism.

The book was too confusing so he climbed up over

9000 ladders in order to pee from above and splatter

all. The urine landed on these babies who pooped in

the endless abyss known as intelligence. Suddenly

Heidi Klum opened her mouth saying, “that’s hot” and

then suddenly a bird pooped looking at that. No one

was safe for even five hot hours and a split second.

Anyways Heidi decided to not be a big fat whale that

never wanted to have her hand chopped off and

instead went to the mall where a gang was sleeping to

avoid her hand. She looked around only to see that her

legs were covered in a mysterious brown slime that

smelled like dinosaur poop so then she started

stripping in the toy store with very large boobs that

were covered in orange spiders. Sadly he ate all the

autobots that rolled out. Suddenly, Megatron decides

to take some chocolate chip cookies and serious butt

beating by a hairy Optimus Prime who took a razor and

sliced it’s left middle finger without being able to do

anything remotely sane when something started to boil

like a bowl of white cumulus clouds that were very

happy to be liquefied. Then suddenly MeganFox bought

a ton of crazy expensive fat hungry hippos who eat

ewoks and then proceeded to regurgitate them

multiple times because they had bad essay writing

skills and because they were smelly and dumb. No

offense to dirty old socks. Suddenly the hippos moving

two steps broke through the wall of jello and started

singing “Oh Canada” until a raging storm hit the

nearest toil booth where a gang of completely useless

teenagers were playing Jumanji with Robin Williams.

Then a hundred flying elephants appeared and started

pushing rabid squirrels over with white picket fences

just for fun. Soon, a random three year old peanut

butter sandwich is eaten by Chuch Norris, causing him

to become a very big reincarnation of his pet turtle.

This huge creature destroyed the entire world juts by

using Bounty quicker picker-upper. He ate the bounty

and pooped. But then, a giant bumble bee stung the

turtle and he bumped his head with a smelly castrated

mutated dolphin that sang like a crazy old Rick rolling

washed-up imitator that never stops and never gona

until the day he superman that hoe and marries Lois

Lane and gets a penny stuck up his blue cape and

started to spell out words that sounded like dead fish

and crying orange mermaids which were crying for their

mommies. After spelling out some incredibly long

green beaver tails that looked like an ugly banana

covered in marshmallows, superman went for lunch at

Tim’s. Suddenly, a big noisy fly saucer came by to grab

a fork and stuck it into its spaghetti. Unfortunately,

the spaghetti got tangled with balls of yarn which

made the cats very angry which in turn helped the big

bad wolf to give blow job to the nearby three little

pigs. The pigs caught a bad case of contagious syphilis

of piggy herpy but then, someone caught another bad

strain of a virus that originated from a rabid horse

poop in Antartica. This strain caused bleeding elbows

and random episodes of high-pitched singing while the

cats pretended they were pandas with a knife who cut

themselves and bled strawberry jello so the

psychiatrist decided to give a rubber chicken to cure

this. However, instead it caused a new explosion of

some kind which could ignite marshmallows and make

them radioactive which causes the long beaver tails to

grow on some very large trees which are resistant to

the extremely strong pressure of peers and vices like

alcohol. Then a huge ant tried to poo in a car where

Bush was sleeping then he dreamt that Obama came

to steal his wife but then suddenly the wife turned into

Bill Clinton only to see him getting a sandwich from

the poo smelling monster who loved butterflies.

Slowly, a big rubber chicken attacked all the butterflies

instead of killing the wild hippos causing 31 strange-

looking giraffes to jump and dance like 90’s boy bands.

The rubber chicken was cooked too and caused the

chicken to resurrect and freaked out and ate its own

body while chewing on a toy penguin called “Razavaq”

in order to have a bubble-gum stuck up his rear end

only in order to be able to forget that it was Monday

which tragically meant that he forgot to turn off the

nuclear reactor before the googly eyed monster began

to google his unknown family tree and found out they

were related to Father Time. Finally, a small girl

appeared saying....The end, yo!”

Heh, I can't believe you went and typed it all up lol.

"Slowly, a big rubber chicken attacked all the butterflies

instead of killing the wild hippos causing 31 strange-

looking giraffes to jump and dance like 90’s boy bands."

LMAO!!!

My best pal finds Heidi Klum beautiful so I stuck that in there cause I was thinking about him when I read the thread

Originally Posted by PTGregD

Heh, I can't believe you went and typed it all up lol.

=P i said i'd do it.. and i did XD, that's the sort of attitude i need to succeed in uni too. Staying true to my words.

Originally Posted by killza

=P i said i'd do it.. and i did XD, that's the sort of attitude i need to succeed in uni too. Staying true to my words.

Heh, good attitude!

Keep that up in classes and you'll do great!

HAHAH! Awesome thread! How long did it take you to type it all up ?

Unbelievable.

Words can't describe the meltdown my brain is having from reading that. Haha, we should do another. It reminds me of those mad lib things.

Lol, a good laugh! Love all the run-on sentences

Originally Posted by jhan523

Lol, a good laugh! Love all the run-on sentences

Haha I know! I bet all our Eng. teachers would commit suicide at the sight of this XD

Awesome lol. Who knew, Chuck Norris enjoys eating three-year-old sandwiches

...and yeah Jake, Rubber Chickens FTW!

Can't believe we all contributed to that.. XD

That was truly epic. Good job killza!

haha awesome, so hard to read at points but so good!