Hello MacInsiders,

I am currently in second-year Chemical Engineering and I am failing miserably.
My GPA is hovering around a 4.8.

My original choice was to get into Mechanical Engineering, but my GPA was much too low. I chose Chemical Engineering as it was my only choice (it seemed interesting at the time after seeing some of the reactor projects upper years have worked on).

However, I am hating every moment of CHEMENG 2D04, 2F04 (not interesting, learning about flow, and thermodynamics is difficult to say the least) and CHEM 1AA3 (I have a weak chemistry background from high-school, which is no excuse, but the subject is just really confusing for me).

Computer Science/Software Engineering does have an appeal as an alternative major, but I don't have a good background in coding at all. I'm also afraid I will get lost in the logic and fall behind (I'm sure it gets a hell of a lot harder than 1D04).

I can't think of anything else that I would like to pursue to be honest, the only subjects I were ever good at were math and physics.

At this point, I don't know what to do. I've already invested so much money into this (I come from a lower middle class family). All of which was obtained through the hard work of my parents (they work long hours, like 5am-7pm and don't get paid much for it). Just thinking about the absurd amount of hours they've worked to save up for my education fund just breaks me inside. I just feel an overwhelming feeling of guilt every time I think about this.

My future just seems so bleak, even if I were to somehow stay motivated to work hard towards graduation, I would still have a ridiculously low GPA. Obtaining any internships or jobs just seems so far-fetched.

I've sunken in a state of depression and admit I am having serious thoughts about suicide. I can't see how I could possibly turn this situation around anymore.

I'm not "looking for attention", believe me, attention is the last thing I want right now, but I really don't have anywhere else to ask and express my thoughts.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hey man, sorry to hear that you're in this situation. I'm not going to tell you what to do because that's totally your call but if I were you I would try to stick it out (just not necessarily in the same way you are now). Sounds like your parents have worked so hard for you to be successful and happy, and if you are struggling and not happy with what you are doing right now, you should consider what your other options are. That's probably what they would really want you to do. Don't feel guilty. I know it's really hard not to but you cannot be successful with that guilt hovering over you. It sounds like you just need a big change. IMO, I would suggest considering transferring out of Eng. It doesn't sound like you're happy there and maybe it's just not right for you? Have you considered Commerce? My understanding is that the switch from Eng to Commerce is one of the easier ones at McMaster. I am in commerce myself and its challenging at times but certain doable (especially if you're used to doing a lot of hard logic/math in Eng). A degree in Commerce can open up a lot of doors for after graduating. Again, not saying that this is what you should for sure do, but it's an option (and I am not qualified enough to talk about transferring into other programs). It sounds like you've been working very hard to come from where you have but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. If you are in an environment where you feel this helpful and unmotivated, get yourself into a position where you ARE able to success. Whether that's in another faculty, school, or another option. You cannot be successful anywhere if you are not happy, but it works the other way too...if you're somewhere that you may be able to be success but you won't be happy doing what you're doing, it's not good either. You need a good balance. And that's what university is for a lot of people, finding who you really are and what you love to do. I may just be babbling on now but I hope some of this might be helpful to you!

I think its good that you recognize that your situation with school is what's leading to your depressed state. Being depressed because of this difficult situation is normal. It's your body/mind telling you that you need to do yourself a favour, and do what makes you happy, not what you feel you "have to do". If you need someone to talk to, please message me any time. I've almost lost my brother and best friend because they tried to take their own lives. I understand why you feel this way, and it often makes a huge difference if you have someone to talk it out with. Msg me anytime!

you should speak to an engineering academic councilor to see what your options are. And perhaps a therapist. There is a big support network at mac, particularly for people who are feeling down due to academic or financial reasons.

I dont know much about Chem eng so I cant speak to that.

Software though I do know. You should know Macs programs is ... well shit (it teaches little coding and mostly just theory behind things. Good for a CS phd, bad for industry). It will give you a degree in SE though which is what employers are looking for. An unusual aspect of software is that it is a SKILLS based degree. You can have a relatively poor average, but if you apply yourself and work on projects outside of school then you may be hired ahead of your high-GPA classmates. SE at mac is also very Mathy which should be nice for you. With a solid foundation in math you should be able to do well in SE at mac and with additional side project you could become a good coder.

That said take an inner look and see what you are actually interested in. The last thing you want is to jump ship to another program you hate and start this process all over again in a year. The academic Councillor can help with this.

Thank you Commie42 and qwerty91 for the advice.

Right now I have my eyes on the Information Systems specialization within Commerce (subject to change).
The reduced workload should be more manageable, and I can see myself doing IT stuff.

I've avoided the Comp Sci and Software Eng route because I really don't like discrete mathematics (calculus is fine for me).

For now I will just try to tough it out through my courses, I'll speak to an academic advisor asap.

Hey there, the other comments do offer great advice but i also wanted to add some ideas because I'm 2nd year engineering (2nd year eng phys) so am going through comparable stuff right now.

My marks also dropped significantly this year and im taking it pretty hard, too. academics and family/friend relationships made it a living hell. please, I don't want you to feel this down because if you continue down this road, it only goes down.

Yeah, may seem impossible to turn things around right now, but who are you to decide. The only way out is through. Now is the time when it is very important to abandon your worries and fears.

I found out somethings that surprised me and might surprise you about engineering. First, your marks don't matter nearly as much as your connections. Good connections will always get you farther than good marks. Second, an engineer who doesn't have any commerce experience/education is closing several doors. Experience in Commerce/IT/Engineering (volunteer or paid) is worth its weight in gold. itll show u what ur good at and what u dont like. Finally, if you are looking to get a job this summer in engineering/commerce/etc, there's still going to be another wave of companies sending out job postings in May/April. so maybe the career counsellor can hook you up with getting involved with a company or other connections.

Buddy, it is not the end of the world. I'm so proud of you since you don't sleep over your issues, hoping everything should sort out themselves. There is help, plenty of, around. You don't need a prescription to help you finish degree and move on to a career that does not need 90% of the hard skills drilled at university. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and you shall come out unharmed and be fit and proper to enjoy the only life on earth and later look back and laugh out aloud. Have fun. Please listen to your own inner voice and don't get drowned in the hubris of commercial talk. Cheers.

Please go see the student wellness center! talk to someone, just to let your self be heard. all the best I can understand that you dont want to let your parents down but you dont have to stick it out alone.

Thanks guys for the advice

I've changed my mind and I am now thinking of transferring into B.Tech (Automotive stream). I just hope they'll accept me..

My original plan before coming to McMaster was to get into the Mechanical Engineering stream, but the GPA requirements were much too high for me.. so I made the poor choice of transferring into a stream that didn't really interest me and as punishment I've lost a lot of money.

After carefully thinking about my interests and things that I am passionate about, all I could think about were cars and planes (I would consider myself a car enthusiast).

I have steered away from the Information Systems path mainly because I consider myself inexperienced with coding, and I have yet to find a passion for Commerce (don't want to make the same mistake again).

I realize now that I should not have been in the state of mind that I was in, and I will make a visit to the SWC as soon as possible.

$20,000 is a substantial loss but it is not impossible to repay and I will just take it as a lesson learned.

Thank you very much guys.

Hi Chomps,

First off, thank you for opening up and sharing your thoughts on MacInsiders, coming to the community for feedback, support and advice. It's not easy to do, so great to see you took this step.

Really sorry to hear that things don't seem to be going as well as you planned in Engineering. While I wasn't in Engineering when I was at Mac, so I can't speak directly to your specific course situation, but I will say that if your course path isn't working out... it's something that CAN be changed. If you aren't enjoying the academic path you're going down, you can get out of it. You aren't stuck to doing Chem Eng and only Chem Eng forever, and if you're unable to get into Mech Eng then there will be other things.. other passions that you can pursue in life. It may take a bit of time to reflect and think about a new direction you might want to take things, but nothing is set in stone... you just need to take a step back and reassess what you'd like to do.

I personally know friends and classmates I had while at McMaster who went 3, sometimes even 4 years deep into their university courses and realized that it wasn't what they wanted. They didn't enjoy it, didn't think they wanted to go down that path for a career, couldn't get the marks they needed, lost the passion for what they were in, or discovered that they were more interested in something else completely different so decided to pursue that. There is NOTHING wrong with doing that. Part of the university experience is discovering what you enjoy learning about, it's an entire learning process.. you figure out what you want to do - what you're passionate about - what you enjoy doing. Maybe the program you're in isn't for you... that is OK! People make changes in life and career paths all the time.

You mentioned you consider yourself a car enthusiast. That's AWESOME! There are other car enthusiasts just like you out there... join groups, meetups, events, online forums, and anything else you can find with people who are like you and have the same passions as you into cars. Share your passion with them, and learn from them. Doors will open for you with opportunities to expand your knowledge, career path, and learning in that industry through the connections you build via networking. Chat with the academic advisor about ways you can potentially shift your classes/stream/courses to more of an automotive focus.

If you decide to make a switch to pursue something else, don't think of it as $20,000 lost. You didn't do it all for nothing. It was an experience, and you DID learn things.. you learned what you do and don't enjoy. You learned certain paths aren't what you're looking for or interested in, you still learned transferable skills in those classes that you can take with you... presentation skills, you hopefully made a few new friends, teamwork skills, research skills, etc. So it isn't all a total waste.

As for my friends and classmates I was talking about earlier, what did they end up doing? Some felt they weren't getting what they needed out of the university teachings so they left to go to a college instead for more hands-on style learning style teaching. Some ended up completing the degree that they were doing, just so that they had the degree.. and then ended up going back to take a completely different second degree in something else to try something new. Some completely dropped out of Mac before finishing fourth year and pursued other career paths completely. And they are now happier than ever that they changed directions, and discovered something completely different that they enjoyed or are passionate about and have a job in a different field now.

Remember: You are NOT a failure just because you have low marks in something. You made it to 2nd year Engineering. You made it into university. You're a smart individual. You have talents and skills. The courses you're not doing well in may just not be your strengths, or what you're passionate about. It may be that you have a different learning style than how the classes are being taught. There are many factors why your marks are low in certain courses.

First thing to do, as many have said in this thread, is to chat with your academic advisor in Engineering. Get in touch with Sally Williams. She's awesome and very knowledgeable with situations just like yours, and can listen to you.. what your thoughts and feelings are, and can plan out steps you can take. She's an academic advisor for Engineering.

You can find her in the John Hodgins Engineering Building (JHE), Room A214
Phone: x24646
E-mail: [email protected]

Good luck and keep us updated with how it goes!

Thanks Chad for the kind words and advice.

I spoke with the academic advisors (ENG and BTech), and I was told that writing a letter is the only way to apply for a program transfer.

As for B.Tech Auto, I looked through their upper year courses and they don't look too enjoyable to say the least.. Even if I want to work with vehicles and engines, I don't want to be hit with thermodynamics and fluids again..

I think I will apply to Computer Science, as 1D04 was very enjoyable (except for the fact regurgitation on midterms), I found the assignments really fun to do. However the discrete mathematics courses look daunting.

I'm just really stressing out because I have to think about all of this all while trying to pass my Chem Eng courses..

I'm really worried about my grades, I don't think a letter will be enough to overlook my academic performance. This year will be the worst, as I really don't think I'm going to pass my Chem Eng courses. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't transfer out..