I had a crush on some guy in my program a year ago. Since then I had tried a few approaches to get him to ask me out: Dolled up and went out of my way to chat with him, showed keen interest in his research project/experiment and suggested that I'd love to learn more about it, invited students in the program for a picnic including him (which he signed up for but didn't show up, and I messaged him on FB to thank him for signing up <_<), etc. Every time we chatted I made sure to look into his eyes and tried to keep the cutest smile I could ever give, and I could see that there were little sparkles in his eyes and he's a bit nervous.

I think I've tried everything except actually asking him to ask me out, but alas, he never did. Btw, I know he's single (I saw his online dating profile by accident. I decided not to register for an account and message him on that site though, cuz that would be awkward).

So I eventually gave up, which is a good thing because he's leaving for another country soon for higher education anyways.

I don't want this to happen again so I'd like to ask for guys' insight on here: How obvious do the hints dropped by a girl need to be, without her saying "hey why don't you ask me out?", for you to take them?

Have you thought about asking him out?

I would have taken that hint lol, and if you're are cute as you say you are...etc

Anyways, maybe he likes certain kinds of girls? A certain race? Maybe he was too much of a nerd and into his studies? Maybe thats why he has an account on a dating site, maybe he's not as comfortable talking and meeting in person with girls at first?

But next time though, after a bit of hinting and stuff, just try to find a way to get whoever it is, to out for lunch with you or something, not really a date. Just to chill and talk about school and hobbies or w.e. Then just literally ask him out, "hey, do you wanna go out some time?". Guys don't always have to be the one to ask that ya know.

Anyways good luck

Thanks guys. Well I said "I'd love to learn more about your project some time (*big suggestive smile*)" a few times when we chatted. I was expecting that he would eventually complete the sentence with "sure, maybe we can talk about it over a coffee or something", but that never occurred. I confess that I'm not brave enough to do the work.

Originally Posted by Psyer

Thanks guys. Well I said "I'd love to learn more about your project some time (*big suggestive smile*)" a few times when we chatted. I was expecting that he would eventually complete the sentence with "sure, maybe we can talk about it over a coffee or something", but that never occurred. I confess that I'm not brave enough to do the work.

Awe don't worry, you just gotta have fun with it! And if it doesn't go well, just play it off So what did he say back to you when you asked him? You said that he didn't say anything but he must have said something...an excuse at the very least? And what was your relationship with him before all this anyways? Was he in the same program, same classes? It would definitely help when you are in that kind of situation.

Hmm, I don't remember what he said, it has been a while... I think it was something meaningless like "okay cool", then the conversation moved on to something else kinda awkwardly.

We were in the same program but did not take the same classes. He's senior to me and used to be my TA lol (by the time i approached him i had already finished that class, so there's no conflict of interest). We were acquaintances who ran into each other quite frequently.

guys dont take hints, just like girls don't take hints. if you show interest in him, he will think of you as a friend. if you doll yourself up, he will assume its for someone else. if you chat with him, it takes away the chase. you must literally throw yourself at him for it to be obvious. invite him on a date, take him to your house, then seduce him (its easy for girls, just take off your clothes and be touchy).
he won't reject you (unless he's gay, that is - is he an engineer?)

I was interested in my current boyfriend about 4 months before we started dating. I tried basically everything you did to get him to ask me out but he wouldn't take the hint. Eventually I just asked him out, and definitely don't regret it! We were talking on our first date and it turns out he had no idea I was hinting at him, and when he started to get that impression him and his friends decided that I was out of his league and theres no way I was really interested in him. So maybe your guy just has low confidence and convinced himself that you weren't actually interested in him and he was just imagining it.

That's the funny thing. Western world guys ask girl out. Eastern world girls ask guy out. Consider the latter.

Originally Posted by Leeoku

That's the funny thing. Western world guys ask girl out. Eastern world girls ask guy out. Consider the latter.

Not sure what part of the Eastern world you're referring to, but of the parts I know, it's usually the guys asking the girls out still.

Originally Posted by herBs

Not sure what part of the Eastern world you're referring to, but of the parts I know, it's usually the guys asking the girls out still.

Or their fathers asking the girls out for them

You have nothing 2 loose...just ask him out. I did that with a guy a few months ago, and now he's trolling around with some 13 yr old (I'm in gr 12 and so is he). But asking him out let me get over him

asian girls are extremely passive

Are you attractive?

Some guys don't want to go down that route to mess up a friendship, but chances are he might fancy somebody.. situations like that make us oblivious to the seemly obvious.

Don't know about other guys, but I really have troubles understanding when there's a vibe or not. So there's always a risk of getting yourself burned, and that usually stops me from acting when I see the "signs".

So at the end either I ask a girl myself, based on my own accord, or there's no game at all.

They should probably teach you on "how to get a vibe" in university, would probably be the most useful thing we learn anyway.