I don't know if there has been a thread about this, but I was having a conversation with my friends about LDR and I wanted to see how the general public views this i.e. possibility of it working out, if it's a good idea going into one etc.

It's all about trust at the end of the day. Especially in first year having a long distance relationship, trust is put to the test.

Originally Posted by s2ML

I don't know if there has been a thread about this, but I was having a conversation with my friends about LDR and I wanted to see how the general public views this i.e. possibility of it working out, if it's a good idea going into one etc.

I think overall it possibly wouldn't work out based on all the work you may have and the new friends you'll be meeting. But if you both really love each other and have been together for a while then maybe

Originally Posted by mc_kumar

It's all about trust at the end of the day. Especially in first year having a long distance relationship, trust is put to the test.

i definitely agree with this. trust is ultimately what breaks or makes the relationship. do you think that ldr would have more time trusting each other due to the distance, or would close by relationships?

also, what type of things do you think ldr can do to keep their love alive? my friends and i came up with some things like watching a movie together then skyping or calling each other and debriefing

I think communication is key
at the end of the day take a few minutes out and talk about your day to your partner,
chat on skype, text or call each other throughout the day

its true that each of you will meet new people and that can cause some trust issues especially in first year
but if you do meet new people, its not a crime
tell your partner about the new friends you met, activities you did...etc

communication and trust can make any long distance relationship strong and last long

It's possible for them to work out, but the statistics are generally against them. Communication is key in any relationship, but it's even more important in LDRs because of the lack of non-verbal communication (i.e., body language). If either party has insecurity issues and doesn't recognize them or isn't working on them, you can pretty much kiss the relationship goodbye.

Sources: In one for 3 years now. Watched a few others succeed long term, watched a lot of others crash and burn.

Originally Posted by Amaryll

It's possible for them to work out, but the statistics are generally against them. Communication is key in any relationship, but it's even more important in LDRs because of the lack of non-verbal communication (i.e., body language). If either party has insecurity issues and doesn't recognize them or isn't working on them, you can pretty much kiss the relationship goodbye.

Sources: In one for 3 years now. Watched a few other succeed long term, watched a lot of others crash and burn.

i think it also depends on how far the distance is. it would definitely be different if your partner was in a different city compared to a different country. but yeah, trust and communication is key!

Originally Posted by Amaryll

It's possible for them to work out, but the statistics are generally against them.

If you're going to bring up stats, I'm pretty sure that statistically speaking, relationships in general don't work out.

Not that I disagree with you or anything, obviously.

On-topic: they're possible, but being young and a university student (read: in an environment with an endless number of prospective SOs) means that you're both bound to find someone just as (or more) compatible without the geography getting in the way. The advice in the thread helps, but just be prepared for the worst.

Source: crashed and burned.

Well I have been in an ldr for over 2 years now. He is in his third year now at Guelph and to be honest it is hard at first but YES IT CAN WORK! Skype and talk often, let them know what you're up to. You don't feel so far away when you know what the other is up to most of the time. Trust is an issue. If you can't trust them, it most likely won't last. As for keeping the relationship alive, the distance almost does it for you. It really does make the heart grow fonder and time spent together becomes treasured. Normal things in a relationship like going out for dinner and spending time face to face aren't enjoyed often. But, those small things become so much better as it is a change from a skype date and texting. Ldr's take more effort than most relationships but as long as you believe it is time well spent than the effort is worth it.

LDR has this nice perk in which partners aren't able to be clingy, so you avoid that 'eat-burger-every-day-and-end-up-hating-burgers' scenario. You also go into it (ideally, imo) with one foot out of the 'deal'. You want to keep the relationship alive, but not being there physically can be a very large burden; so both parties sort of keeps in mind that the other person may be looking around on the interim. Might be good, might be bad. Idk.

That being said, I'm in one right now, and timezones are hell. Just. Hands down, timezones and physical separations are some of the worst things I've experienced. Ever.

Originally Posted by marysmowton

Well I have been in an ldr for over 2 years now. He is in his third year now at Guelph and to be honest it is hard at first but YES IT CAN WORK! Skype and talk often, let them know what you're up to. You don't feel so far away when you know what the other is up to most of the time. Trust is an issue. If you can't trust them, it most likely won't last. As for keeping the relationship alive, the distance almost does it for you. It really does make the heart grow fonder and time spent together becomes treasured. Normal things in a relationship like going out for dinner and spending time face to face aren't enjoyed often. But, those small things become so much better as it is a change from a skype date and texting. Ldr's take more effort than most relationships but as long as you believe it is time well spent than the effort is worth it.

Not sure where you live now but Hamilton - Guelph isn't that bad! Just a short bus ride away. That being said I think it also depends on how long of a distance it is. For example Hamilton - Guelph you can see each other every weekend or every other weekend depending on your schedule but like BC to Hamilton you can only see other like twice a year and it's super expensive.

The question is, is it distance makes the heart grow fonder OR out of sight, out of mind... eek

Thhhaatt^
The time zone difference and knowing that you are physically hundreds of miles away is a horrible feeing. If you are in the same province I don't think it's that bad seeing as you have the option to see each other once a month if you both want to/can.
Now, when you're in different provinces, states, countries or continents that obviously isn't the case and it can be hard. From what I can see, the physical seperation is the worst part and sometimes people look for it with other people.
I'm sure an LDR could work with some people but definitely not with most.

Source: Dated someone in the military, every base he was stationed at was at least 2000 kilometers away. So, saw eachother every four months or so when he was on leave.
Crashed and burned, hard.

EDIT: Figured I should clarify that those bases were still in Canada. I've never experienced an out-of-country LDR

I agree that Hamilton-Guelph isnt that bad. For me its Toronto-Cambridge, and will soon be Hamilton-Cambridge, and busses are pretty good when I plan ahead. Its working, and I SUPER agree with the fact that you dont get sick of each other because you see each other every weekend, time is cherished, and we still have our own social lives.

I don't think I could handle seeing someone twice a year or so from another province or country, i need the physical closeness for it to work.
SO CONGRATS! to those who make an L-L-L-LDR work

Protip: You should probably not have pics of you and your ex on your phone still.

Source: also crashed and burned