03-14-2015 at 05:10 PM
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#1
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Love/ hormones
I've been in love with this guy for quite some time now. (Or at least I think it's love). We both enjoyed each other's company, and he would always try to talk to me. I would catch him looking at me every now and then. But, I never let him close because I was too scared of things getting serious. I basically led him to think I wasn't interested even though I have never felt this way for any other guy, ever.
I thought I would get over him with time, but he ended up in the same university as me. My feelings for him are stronger than ever now that I catch a glimpse of him across campus every now and then. But he has a girlfriend now. I still don't think I'm ready for a relationship; I have trust issues. But I think about him way too much. I love seeing him smile. Everyday, I hope to run into him in between classes, just to see his face...
A) How do I fix these trust issues?
B) How do I get over him?
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03-14-2015 at 07:30 PM
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#2
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1) Determine if he is worth waiting
a) Yes? Then wait
b) No? Then try to distract yourself with other things for now
a13x
says thanks to Leeoku for this post.
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03-14-2015 at 11:31 PM
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#3
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I think you need to ask yourself these questions: "why do I have trust issues?" "what caused me to not trust people?". Once you figure out what caused those issues and how they were caused you can work on solving your problem from there.
Maybe you can avoid the situation that caused the trust issues from happening again? If it was out of your control, you should just be confident in yourself and choices. Trust yourself, and then you can trust others. You could start trusting people little by little, give small chances to people you're interested in, test the waters, see what happens. Also, know that some people will break your trust, but that doesn't mean everyone out there can't be trusted.
For your second question, maybe you could tell your situation to a friend, get that out of your mind then start moving on. Distract yourself, study, go out, watch stuff, get involved in other things.
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a13x
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03-15-2015 at 02:41 PM
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#4
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I say go for it, directly.
When you get to be my age (mid 20s), you start having a lot of regrets in life. You can't help but think how live could have been if you weren't so shy in your youth. And then you find out that she married and has 2 kids, while you are still a being a lazy neckbeard soldering circuits in the basement of JHE.
So yeah, go for it.
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a13x
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03-15-2015 at 04:47 PM
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#5
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@Leeoku
Thank you so much for you reply!
He is really nice. I'm not one of those girls that are attracted to douches/ bad boys, or to super good looking people. He is decent-looking, but the main reason I was attracted to him was because he is a nice guy.
So, I guess he is worth waiting for, but he has a gf.. Do I still wait for him?
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03-15-2015 at 04:55 PM
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@Ponyo
Thank you for your reply!
This is gonna sound ridiculous, but I don't have trust issues because I had a rough childhood or major betrayals. I was a normal child from a normal home, but my parents used to make us kids watch these crime shows on TV almost every night so we didn't blindly trust people and were aware that the world isn't always a good place. Because that exposure was a little early, and because most of the criminals were guys, I thought, every guy I get close to is simply bound to either violate me, or sell me off, or mix some drug in my drinks at some point in time. (ridiculous, eh?)
I have gotten a lot better now though, and have made so many guy friends, but any time someone tries to get close, I "bro-zone" him. LOL
My challenge from now on: Try not to brother-zone potential mates
Thank you for the amazing ideas for getting my mind off of him!
Last edited by a13x : 03-15-2015 at 05:13 PM.
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03-15-2015 at 05:01 PM
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@GeorgeLucas
Mid-20s! NO WAY! I would've bet you turned 18 this year!
Thank you for your reply, sir
He as a girl friend, so I don't wanna be that "bitchy" girl that steals people's boyfriends. I will definitely take your advice but be more sly about it. I will try to talk to him more often and secretly try to rekindle his feeling for me no matter how RIDICULOUSLY nervous and awkward I get when I'm around him.
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03-25-2015 at 11:18 AM
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Goodluck!
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04-02-2015 at 04:44 PM
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I was in a similar situation as well. I think the same way, didn't want to be "that" person to break up the couple. But I would just continue to be friends and enjoy each other's company even if it doesn't mean more. You'll find someone else who you'll care for in the future. If the timing is right, and things don't work out between them, then you can make your move.
Nothing is set in stone, even if it's brozone.
That's my 2cents.
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04-14-2015 at 01:58 AM
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#10
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just try it ,there is nothing more important than missing him !!
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08-23-2015 at 01:11 PM
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#11
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Spend more time with him on a deeper level, then you will develop trust for him. Good luck
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10-19-2015 at 11:44 PM
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#12
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I like it very much.
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06-24-2016 at 01:52 AM
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You just find out someone then you will understand what feeling you have. It may be infatuation.
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10-17-2016 at 04:48 AM
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I think you yourself is pretty confused with things. Clear your mins, may be you really don't love him ,and you are thinking of him, because you see him almost everyday.
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11-16-2016 at 09:47 PM
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#15
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Ask yourself all these question, anyway good luck !!
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