[kokosas]

Surviving Your Roommates

By SABRINA BRADEY, MACINSIDERS

University is a huge change for everyone who enters it, no matter what background you come from.

The jump from high school to university aside, having a room mate is often one of the biggest challenges after academics.

It would be a no brainer to say that everyone is different right? Well take two different people and put them together for 8 months during one of the biggest transitions of their young lives and see how that pans out for you. You might want to bring safety gear, there might be some blood shed.

I’m kidding!
All jokes aside, having a room mate can be tough for you even if you come from a large family and are used to having a bunch of siblings impose their needs and wants on you. The difference with siblings is that you’ve most likely grown up together: you know how far you can push each other and at the end of the day you’re family... which usually means you opt out of smothering them.

When choosing your room mate I must stress that even though Jane may be your BFF right now, once you live with someone it changes the dynamics drastically. There’s a saying that goes “the best way to ruin a friendship is to move in together” and it didn’t come out of no where. I speak from experience when I say your best friends from first year are usually not the best candidates for room mates.

So the question is who is the best candidate for you? Well think about your personality, your likes/dislikes, your cleaning habits, study habits, etc. Even though you and Jane might be awesome study buddies who work well together in the classroom doesn’t mean that you will work together when you’re living with each other.

If you’re a studious person, and I hope you are if you plan to do well in university, might I suggest rooming with upper years or grad students? I can understand feeling a wee bit uncomfortable about living with someone you don’t know, which is why you should have your folks/guardians check out the potential crib with you and try to meet the people you will possibly be living with before signing the lease. However, just because someone is an upper year or a grad student doesn’t mean their not a partier.

On the flip side, if you’re a partier you might want to room with those who are NOT partiers. You are in university after all and living with non-partiers will probably decrease the amount of times you come home drunk out of your mind.

If you’re moving into residence and you don’t know who your room mate will be I suggest you try to get to know them over the summer when their email is released to you along with your room information. If at all possible arrange to meet up at one of Mac’s open house days, like the summer preview day that the FYEO (First Year Experience Office) offers for those who have accepted an offer of admission. In this situation keep in mind that the odds of you and this person having a lot in common are pretty slim, so try to keep an open mind about their habits and practices.

The key to surviving your room mate(s) is to set mutual ground rules and stick to them. There will be times when Bobby forgets to take out the recycling and that’s cool, everyone forgets, but when the pop cans are over flowing and nothing has been done about it it’s time to put your foot down, firmly, but politely.

Being polite is KEY. You don’t want a person you hardly know telling you how to run your life so try not to do it to someone else, it will only make them angry. Angry people don’t often want to comply with your wishes. Remind Bobby that he has not stuck to their duties and to please do it now.

Often, you’ll get excuses from the offending room mate. Ones like “but I have an exam tomorrow, I don’t have the time!” can be dodged by “it won’t take you that long and it’ll give your brain a good break, you should take a 10 minute break every hour anyway!” However, you must keep in mind that asking Bobby to dust and polish every surface of the room IS a little unreasonable if it’s exam/midterm/essay season.

To be perfectly cliché I have to say that communication is another key to a successful room mate relationship. And by communication I don’t mean “Jane I am so sick of your ********you are the messiest person in the ******** world! How does anyone stand you? You pig!”
Exhibit A ladies and gentlemen: The perfect way to anger the room mate in question and thus secure your continued suffering because the odds of Jane wanting to make you happy after that kind of comment are slim to none.

Talk to your room mate, and try to be understanding. You come from two different backgrounds so compromise if you can. If it gets too bad bring in a mediator, preferably a mutual friend (or if you live in residence a CA that you both get along with) who can help you two work something out. At the end of the day you have to live with each other for a set period of time, its best not to make that a living nightmare.

And for the record, when a friend who wants to move in with you has a room that looks like a tornado just passed through; don’t believe them when they say that their mess always stays confined to their room. It’s usually wishful thinking.

[sarahsweet]

really good advice. This happened to me in my first year in res and a good friend of mine turned out to be a real slob to live with!

[lorend]

It happens a lot in student houses too...