[ferreinm]

It Doesn't Hurt to Try But it Hurts to be Rejected!

By NICOLE FERREIRA, MACINSIDERS

You’ve been seeing someone for quite a while now. You’re finally ready to take it to the next level. You decide to change your Facebook relationship status to In A Relationship with *insert name here.* To your surprise, your special someone declines the offer. You’ve just been rejected. Sucks. Maybe you shouldn’t have listened to your friends who kept asking, ‘what do you have to lose?’ because now you’re able to answer—‘my ego!’ Don’t worry my friend, we’ve all been in the same boat at some point. Whether it’s the person you’ve liked for twenty minutes or the job offer you’ve wanted for your whole life we’re all forced to deal with rejection at some point. There’s a few ways to deal with the not-so-fun situation…

• You could always do what I like to call the scream & cry. This is honestly my personal favourite. I’ll go home scream and cry my eyes out for an hour and then I’m ready to continue with my life. Rejection sucks and sometimes you just need to let your emotions run wild. If you do this technique, I highly recommend that you don’t do this in public because if you do you’ll look like a fool—trust me!

• You can go for a walk. Walks are nice and relaxing. You can think about the situation and try to decipher why you’ve been rejected. After discovering why you’ve been rejected you can work towards improving that aspect(s) so reduce the chances of you being rejected again. Nevertheless, you’ll still get rejected in the future—remember that!

• You can ask the rejecter why you were rejected. Beware of the time you decide to do so though. Wait until you’re calm. You don’t want to deal with a rejection and a restraining order. Wait a couple of hours, or a couple of months if need be to find out where you messed up. Sometimes when a person says, ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘it was a competitive position’ he or she truly meant it. Don’t harass them for a different reason. Yet, sometimes you get the harsh reality. You may be obsessive or a poor communicator. Take the truth and learn from it. You know when people tell you don’t change? Yeah, ignore them. Do change if necessary. We all have flaws that we need to work towards improving.

• You can always complain… to your friends, your mom, your dog, co-workers, and anyone who will listen. Sometimes we just need to let it all out. Most of the time though people don’t want to listen. I hate listening to people complain about everything that goes wrong but I’ll be the first to admit that I complain sometimes. Okay, so that’s a bit of an understatement… You need to find something that makes you feel better. When you complain to your friends that your dream guy rejected you, they tend to boost your self-esteem with help from classic routine lines like he doesn’t deserve someone like you or it’s his loss. It’s definitely a confidence booster to say the least. It makes you feel good. Who doesn’t like feeling good?

• The last thing you can always do is simply—get over it. Everyday tons of people get rejected. You’re not the only one. It’s just something that happens in life. How you handle the situation is the most important part. You need to accept the rejection. You know that you’re a great person and that you have flaws. Learn from the situation and move on. Don’t let negativity hold you back for too long. Keep applying for positions and don’t give up on the dating scene. Rejection hurts now but giving up completely hurts later and for a longer period of time. Don’t think about tomorrow being a new day, think about right now being a new time. Start fresh. Think about the job offer you get that you might have not applied to. The sooner you get over the rejection the sooner you can get that great job and/or relationship

Good luck!

[ferreinm]

Rejection sucks

[lorend]

Yes, it does.

Jerk hierarchy bullcrap. rrrr.

[temara.brown]

I hear that.

[ferreinm]

I wish I was a boy for this weekend only

[dimoxyel]

Originally Posted by ferreinm

Rejection sucks

Too true...

Though I've generally found that its actually easier to get over an actual rejection than an assumed one - better to know for sure than to have that big monstrous "WHAT IF?" floating around in your head all the time. I know there have been at least three times where I've confessed my feelings and known full-well ahead of time that I had about a 10% or less chance of them being reciprocated.

Its kinda like a band-aid - You don't know whether or not there's still a scab there, but its easier (for some people) to yank it off in one shot than to go bit by bit and say "Maybe I should leave it on... Maybe I shouldn't...."

If I'm making any sense here.....