hold hands and live happily ever after

I don't like the way you put it; "an end goal...". It's almost as if it were implying that dating is an "x # of steps" process, which ultimately leads someone through a series of predetermined results. I like to think of dating as something much simpler, especially in the short run. Two people get together, they enjoy each others company, and things happen for better or worse. If it ever gets to the point of thinking about taking the relationship to the next step - then fine, consider marriage. But I don't think anyone should think of purpose of dating in the long run, especially when you've only begun dating.

Agree with RoyK, I like to think of it like, if you like someone, you start dating. If you like them even more, you gain another level of understanding and move to deeper stuff. And so on and on....in which, marriage is the highest level (and what you believe is the highest goal).

And I know my above description is wayyy to idealistic. I'm aware.


Awesome

I disagree about Marriage subjugating women. On the contrary, marriage is a public confirmation of a commitment that both parties share. By abiding to this commitment, a wife and husband are obliged to perform certain roles to establish a long-lasting family-forming companionship. Women are promised a husband that must make the effort to perform certain roles as well as vice versa. In a common-law relationship, or even simply dating, there are no defining roles or responsibilities from eachother and thus it's open ended ("see how it goes").

Once a person is accustomed this way of life (going with the flow), it will amplify their chances of divorces for they will quickly get bored or wish to move on to something different.

I believe Marriage is a beautiful system that ensures the dignity and protection of both parties and safe and stable upgrowth of children. It may seem as an 'old school' perspective, but time should not be factor in maintaining values and we must attempt to hold on to them.

Originally Posted by bloodywarz

i agree thatz what most guys mainly want but i dunno now im noticing in uni guys are also trying to get a lil more serious with girls (other than the obvious just party like crazy with no worries dudes lol). like im just looking for a proper gurl to have good time with... and its acutally pretty hard to find

"Proper," nice girls aren't hard to find. You're probably just looking in the wrong places. I'm a nice girl, for instance. Look around you. We're everywhere. "Nice" guys, however, are the hard ones to find. Its hard to differentiate becasue the nice guys and the not nice guys.

Originally Posted by qazwini

I disagree about Marriage subjugating women. On the contrary, marriage is a public confirmation of a commitment that both parties share. By abiding to this commitment, a wife and husband are obliged to perform certain roles to establish a long-lasting family-forming companionship. Women are promised a husband that must make the effort to perform certain roles as well as vice versa. In a common-law relationship, or even simply dating, there are no defining roles or responsibilities from eachother and thus it's open ended ("see how it goes").

Once a person is accustomed this way of life (going with the flow), it will amplify their chances of divorces for they will quickly get bored or wish to move on to something different.

I believe Marriage is a beautiful system that ensures the dignity and protection of both parties and safe and stable upgrowth of children. It may seem as an 'old school' perspective, but time should not be factor in maintaining values and we must attempt to hold on to them.

My aunt and uncle have been in a common-law relationship for twenty years.. I don't think they're "still seeing where it goes."

Originally Posted by qazwini

In a common-law relationship, or even simply dating, there are no defining roles or responsibilities from eachother and thus it's open ended ("see how it goes").
Once a person is accustomed this way of life (going with the flow), it will amplify their chances of divorces for they will quickly get bored or wish to move on to something different.

Then what do you have to say to the couples who committed themselves to a traditional marriage that ended in divorce (and/or adultery) anyways? Are you saying every traditional marriage is perfect in and of itself?

And what say you to all of the couples in non-traditional relationships who are perfectly happy and faithful to each other? Are you saying every non-traditional relationship is flawed in and of itself?

More traditional relationships can still work in 2010, but there's nothing about marriage that blesses a couple with immunity from pain, infidelity and divorce.

Do you have any statistics to back up your argument?

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

"Proper," nice girls aren't hard to find. You're probably just looking in the wrong places. I'm a nice girl, for instance. Look around you. We're everywhere. "Nice" guys, however, are the hard ones to find.

"Nice" guys aren't hard to find. You're probably just looking in the wrong places. I'm a nice guy, for instance. Look around you. We're everywhere.

Originally Posted by lawleypop

My aunt and uncle have been in a common-law relationship for twenty years.. I don't think they're "still seeing where it goes."

I agree. Just because you have a piece of paper that says you are legally bound to a person does NOT mean that you are any more closer with that person than you would be without that piece of paper. It doesn't ensure you do anything. People still have affairs all the time evn though they're married. Now I'm not dissing the institution of marriage. If you want to get married, great! I just don't think that it makes a couple a stronger union than if they are common law. By the way, after 3 years of living together, common law marriage still upholds the same values as regular marriage. You are still bound by law to pay spousal support and an equal divide of all properties. IF something happens to the couple.

I dont think when a girl accepts a date with a guy shes thinking "alright another potential future husband" shes definitely thinking about having fun, meeting someone to spend time with, and also getting laid.

To be honest, I am an old-school kind of dude.

I still believe in that fairy-tale "and they lived happily ever after" kind of thing.

Once I enter a relationship, I give it my all.

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

"Proper," nice girls aren't hard to find. You're probably just looking in the wrong places. I'm a nice girl, for instance. Look around you. We're everywhere. "Nice" guys, however, are the hard ones to find. Its hard to differentiate becasue the nice guys and the not nice guys.

Nice guys are the ones that usually don't look nice and aren't noticed by nice girls.

:(

Originally Posted by JEFF_CHAN

Nice guys are the ones that usually don't look nice and aren't noticed by nice girls.

:(

True dat. Most of the guys I know are the ones that you can call "nice guys".

However, it's the opposite for women. Most of the women I know are just looking for something
fun to do and the one who are "nice" are either taken or not looking for anyone.

Originally Posted by qazwini

I believe Marriage is a beautiful system that ensures the dignity and protection of both parties and safe and stable upgrowth of children. It may seem as an 'old school' perspective, but time should not be factor in maintaining values and we must attempt to hold on to them.

lolwut? isn't that almost reactionary?

Originally Posted by VastHorizon

To be honest, I am an old-school kind of dude.

I still believe in that fairy-tale "and they lived happily ever after" kind of thing.

Once I enter a relationship, I give it my all.

I'm just gonna say that girls are going to love you for that. I love you for that. lol