11-27-2011 at 06:37 PM
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#31
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Mr.Spock is not dazzled.
Join Date: Jul 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim1
Bio joke:
If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so that I could unzip your genes. ...
Math jokes:
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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lol general calculus
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11-27-2011 at 07:36 PM
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#32
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My math prof is hotter.
Join Date: Jun 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twelve Chars
200 marines walk into a bar and find there is no counter.
What kind of computer does Idra use?
IBM
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Highlight for answers.
What did the Medic study when she went to university? Marine Biology.
How many Zealots does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't. They cannot hold!
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11-27-2011 at 07:49 PM
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#33
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Elite Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaryll
Highlight for answers.
What did the Medic study when she went to university? Marine Biology.
How many Zealots does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't. They cannot hold!
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why did the zergling cross the road?
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11-27-2011 at 08:51 PM
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#34
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
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You know what they say about blind prostitutes right?
You've really got to hand it to them
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11-28-2011 at 05:40 AM
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#35
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
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Lots of text but it SETS UP THE STORY!
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed our little test... we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.......
My Boss showed me this one... Is that disturbing or awesome?
__________________
Honours Life Science. Year III
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11-28-2011 at 06:54 PM
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#36
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Trollin Ain't Easy
Join Date: Jun 2010
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A man walks into a bar...
He takes a seat at the bar and asks the bartender if he has any entertainment around. The bartender pulls out a tiny piano, sets it on the bar, and claps his hands. No sooner had he clapped his hands than a tiny man, seriously a foot tall, walks out to the piano and plays a tune. As soon as he finishes, the tiny man walks back to behind the bar.
"That's amazing!" says the man. "Where did you find something like that?"
"I wished for it. Here, rub the magic beer bottle and you can make a wish too!"
The guy says "Ok, sure"
He goes to the bottle and rubs it and a genie appears. "You have one wish", he says.
The man thinks about it and then wishes for a million bucks. A cloud of smoke fills the room, and when the smoke clears there are a million ducks crowding the bar.
The guy looks at the bartender and says, "Hey! What gives? I didn't want a million ducks!"
The bartender laughs, 'You think I asked for a 12-inch pianist'?
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11-28-2011 at 07:24 PM
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#37
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Two 60 year old married couples are cleaning their attic when the wife finds a bottle. She rubs it and a Genie appears. The Genie grants the husband and the wife 1 wish each.
The wife says "I wish we moved to Florida for our new home".
The Genie grants the wife her wish.
The husband says "My wife use to be pretty when she was young so I wish for her to be 30 years younger than me"
The Genie grants the husband his wish and "poof" he turns 90.
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11-28-2011 at 09:29 PM
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#38
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Account Locked
Join Date: Nov 2011
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If we are what we eat, aren't cannibals the only normal ones?
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12-01-2011 at 09:11 PM
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#39
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Member
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What did one wall say to the other wall?
MEET YA AT THE CORNER!
HA!
.......
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12-01-2011 at 09:22 PM
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#40
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Elite Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alyssarr
What did one wall say to the other wall?
MEET YA AT THE CORNER!
HA!
.......
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What did one math book say to the other?
Man, I got a lot of problems !
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12-01-2011 at 09:36 PM
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#41
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Elite Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,088
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1.
Dad: Could you explain the D and F on your report card?
Son: No problem. It stands for “Doing Fine”.
2.
Teacher: What is the plural for mouse?
Student: Mice.
Teacher: Good, now what is the plural of baby?
Student: Twins!
3.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
“Where’s Popcorn?”
4.
How does Bill Gates enter his house? He uses “windows”.
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12-01-2011 at 10:19 PM
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#42
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim1
4.
How does Bill Gates enter his house? He uses “windows”.
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This is actually great
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12-01-2011 at 10:19 PM
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#43
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Mr.Spock is not dazzled.
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,630
Thanked:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jim1
1.
Dad: Could you explain the D and F on your report card?
Son: No problem. It stands for “Doing Fine”.
2.
Teacher: What is the plural for mouse?
Student: Mice.
Teacher: Good, now what is the plural of baby?
Student: Twins!
3.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
“Where’s Popcorn?”
4.
How does Bill Gates enter his house? He uses “windows”.
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Doing Fine XXD
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12-04-2011 at 09:27 PM
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#44
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Trollin Ain't Easy
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Daisy
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin', they hatin'
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12-04-2011 at 10:41 PM
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#45
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
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