So I'm in first year and I live in res.I knew my roomate from high schol, we didn't know anyone else that was coming to mac so we applied to be roomates together and I've been having a problem with her bringing her boyfriend to stay(he goes to uni in toronto) almost every weekend for like 4 or 5 days (it won't be like sat and sun, it's more like he come's thursday night and stays from fri-tues!)
And at the beginning of the year, i really didn't say anything and now it's becoming so bad because I've told her MANY times that maybe he shouldn't come this weekend because BOTH of us have alot of work to do but he never listens! I really do feel they are obsessed with each other they skype each other 24/7 and then complain that they havent seen each other in a long time.
ive told her manyyyy times that i want some PRIVACY and having him there doesnt really help!
Yes, i could always go to the library when he's here or whatever but I've been doing that since the beginniing of the year and I just don't feel like it sometimes! I think I'm entitled to stay in my room whenever i want considering I paid for it as well!
K, so the main point is, last friday we both had a gruesome chem midterm and I'm coming home stressed out but dreading the next week cuz we had even mooore stuff to do and i step out the elevator, i see them or more worse HIMand all she says is "oh yeah, he's here this weekend, I forgot to tell you, BYE!"
what the f***, i was so pissed she didnt' tell me at all that he was coming or else I could of made some other plans!!and when they came back, I told them firmly that i was pissed that she didnt tell me and i told her everything that was bothering me and i told them i was going home and i just walked out
when i came on sunday, I went to sleep and I heard them skyping and they were shittalking about how i should apologize, and sorry, but I don't think i need to apologize to them because they've been abusing me and they are trying to turn this the OTHER way around because the boyfriend comes up to me and tells me i hurt his feelings, what a *****.
SOOO I don't know what to do, some advice please

and um sorry about the long post i just HAD to rant

That's a violation of the guest policy, which can be found here: link

He can't stay more than 3 nights, with a minimum 7 days in between, and you NEED to grant her permission to have him over.

EDIT: Talk to your CA or building manager. If you never want him back at your place, you have the right for that to happen. Also, you can have him kicked out if you didn't give her permission to have him over (if that case should arise).

Thanks for that link!
I don't know if I want to talk to my CA just yet, because she told me he's not coming anymore because she's going home instead. But if he does show up, I'll think about it! The funny thing is, I live right beside my CA and I know he knows that this guy stays for more than 3 nights at a time and that the time between his visits are less than seven days but thank you, atleast I know I have a right to say something!

Originally Posted by msms

Thanks for that link!
I don't know if I want to talk to my CA just yet, because she told me he's not coming anymore because she's going home instead. But if he does show up, I'll think about it! The funny thing is, I live right beside my CA and I know he knows that this guy stays for more than 3 nights at a time and that the time between his visits are less than seven days but thank you, atleast I know I have a right to say something!

What a bad CA.

Since talking to your roommate didn't work, definitely talk to your CA as soon as possible. He/she might be able to sit you guys down and work some type of agreement. And if that doesn't help, go straight to your residence manager and explain to her your situation.

Edit: Wow, the CA should not be doing that at all. If that's the case, go straight to your residence manager. But since your roommate said she'll be going home instead, wait and see for a week or so, if he does come back. And if shes doesn't follow through with the whole going home thing, definitely go speak to your residence manager.
Contact info here: http://housing.mcmaster.ca/Residence...ment_team.html

Originally Posted by msms

Thanks for that link!
I don't know if I want to talk to my CA just yet, because she told me he's not coming anymore because she's going home instead. But if he does show up, I'll think about it! The funny thing is, I live right beside my CA and I know he knows that this guy stays for more than 3 nights at a time and that the time between his visits are less than seven days but thank you, atleast I know I have a right to say something!

Well since he already knows, talking to him about the problem will be easier. He probably has let it slide since you have not voiced any grievances with it thus far. CAs are usually pretty chillax about rules unless it's actually bothering someone.

But yes, it's better to try to work things out with your roomie first. I'd print her off a copy of the guest policy and talk to her about how her relationship is disrupting your life. Bring in the CA if that doesn't solve the problem

But just out of curiosity, why doesn't she ever go to Toronto to see him?

I'm not sure if I want to go to my res manager because I have really gotten to know my roomate and she's great, but I'm still angry that they expect me to apologize when they haven't aplogized to me or anything, and I was really confused when the boyfriend told me I hurt his feelings, because I really thought it was the other way around :O
what should I say to them about that?

Originally Posted by REPLEKIA/.

But just out of curiosity, why doesn't she ever go to Toronto to see him?

well she does, once in a while, but if she has a lot of work or midterms the next week, she'll stay and have him come over which i really think defeats the purpose of her staying here because in the end, she still doesnt get any work done and thats when i stay too, because I stay if i have alot of stuff to do so and thats where the problem comes in..when we're both here.

and yea, i love my ca, it's probably because I haven't said anything or appeared distressed about this that he doesn't do anything

That makes sense. But in that case, the solution is much easier . I would sit down with your roommate again, JUST with her, without her boyfriend around and explain to her everything from your point of view. Since you guys knew each other in highschool, there shouldn't be much of a barrier between you two. So, definitely sit down and talk to her, show her your perspective and listen to her side of the story. Tell her why you don't feel the need to apologize. Just be very open, without yelling or letting the tension escalate and work out a solution that fits both of you. It worked for me last year and I'm sure it'll work for you as well

Geezzzz.... just tell her you'll beat her up if she brings her boyfriend over again and give her a blank stare.

nice story

gl with ur problem,

Stink bombs might do the trick dont you think?

op is lonely.

Originally Posted by msms

Thanks for that link!
I don't know if I want to talk to my CA just yet, because she told me he's not coming anymore because she's going home instead. But if he does show up, I'll think about it! The funny thing is, I live right beside my CA and I know he knows that this guy stays for more than 3 nights at a time and that the time between his visits are less than seven days but thank you, atleast I know I have a right to say something!

Don't rely on the CA's in Brandon. They're all pricks.

Start bringing some boys of your own over. Revenge!

I completely understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't be forced to sleep in the same room with some strange guy all the time.
I don't think talking to your friend is going to fix anything. Obviously her boyfriend is the main thing on her mind, so you telling her you want privacy probably isn't going to do anything.

I would talk to your CA. If he knows about this, he probably isn't doing anything because no one complained and he doesn't want to cause any drama. Once you talk to him, he HAS to do something. And since he is right next door, he can just say to your roommate "I've noticed this guy has been staying longer than he should". Your roommate won't even know that you complained.