I agree it completely depends on the people involved. Yes, having a relationship is a huge time commitment but if you have good time management skills, prioritize your responsibilities, and work through conflicts like adults it can work out fine. If you guys have fights and you spend all day obsessing and arguing over the issue with a midterm the next day then yeah chances are your grades may suffer. If you guys agree to put the fight on hold until after the midterm to talk about it after your midterm then you'll do fine.

A little anecdote for you, I've had a boyfriend for pretty much my entire undergrad career and my GPA is 11.2 with a double major and I'm heading to graduate school next year. I'm not a successful careerwoman just yet and maybe I'm a little biased but it's possible to get good grades having a boyfriend or girlfriend. And a lot of my friends do great in school while being in a relationship.

It's possible. The SO is in a dual JD program (Canadian + US) and is the youngest person in his class (21) where the average age is 25 or 26, and we've been together for almost 4 years now. It's always been his dream, and he's doing just fine. Time management, dude.

As for fights--sure, you have them. But you'll have shitty days and other non-relationship shit will happen to you too. Another thing that helps--dealing with fights like reasonable, rational adults, instead of having screaming matches or silent treatments. They go quicker and calmer that way. Straight up tell the other person how you feel, why you feel that way, and what they can do to help the situation. Negotiate an agreement/course of action that you agree will work to resolve your issues. If resolution is not possible or you cannot agree--reconsider the relationship.

You seem to want the "partying lifestyle"--wouldn't take also take up time? You talk about being in a "school mind set" and a girlfriend being a "distraction," and yet you want to party and chase girls? Dude, none of these are exclusive (well, except for relationship vs. chasing girls). You can focus on school when you have work to do, party hard on your days/nights off, and manage to have meaningful social interactions with others without it being a "distraction."

Personally, I guess it helps that an ideal night for us is a dinner party/nice restaurant with fantastic food, followed by cake, tabletop games, and video games.

YOLO SWAG 420 BLAZE lT

Originally Posted by Zebedee

My friend...
You have learnt early a very important lesson.
School + dating don't mix. If you want a good career, that is.
I know soooooo many people who started high school and college wanting to become doctors/lawyers/CEOs/scientists.
Now they're secretaries, construction workers, kindergarten teachers.
Why?
Because they got distracted, and didn't make the grade.

The amount of things wrong with this post, just, like really.... who thinks like this?
Please people, this is not advice with any sort of merit. Live your life. Be happy. In 20 years, it would take pretty miserable person to reflect on their life and say... "Wow, I really regret having that wonderful Girlfriend, maybe I would have gotten that extra 12"

Uhh unrelated to the thread but what's the problem with people becoming secretaries, construction workers, kindergarten teachers? And how does aspiring to become a doctor/lawyer/CEO/scientist somehow make you have any sort of better career trajectory?

EDIT: As to answer OP's question, I think you should do what makes you happy!

I think engineering and girls perfectly match together.

You just have to keep your girl in the basement, where you spend 90% of your engineering life.

I never had a problem juggling between my relationship and schooling.

Ryan pretty much said what I wanted to say.

If you have a girlfriend and fail to achieve your goals l its because you find it easier to blame your girlfriend than your lack of prioritizing.

Originally Posted by Philipp31

The amount of things wrong with this post, just, like really.... who thinks like this?
Please people, this is not advice with any sort of merit. Live your life. Be happy. In 20 years, it would take pretty miserable person to reflect on their life and say... "Wow, I really regret having that wonderful Girlfriend, maybe I would have gotten that extra 12"

Uhh unrelated to the thread but what's the problem with people becoming secretaries, construction workers, kindergarten teachers? And how does aspiring to become a doctor/lawyer/CEO/scientist somehow make you have any sort of better career trajectory?

EDIT: As to answer OP's question, I think you should do what makes you happy!

Okay, so, to clarify, maybe what I should have said is that if you are trying to have a career in a highly competitive field, one extra 12 can make a large difference. The secretary/construction/teacher field is not very competitive academically...or, well, not as competitive as the graduate/professional world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but an engineer can get a very good job with a 10.0 CA and an undergrad in engineering. My 10.0 C.A. and BHSc degree will get me a job as a part-time lab assistant, if that. I suppose what I'm saying to OP is to think about how great a distraction dating will cause. If you can handle it, then go for it. It works well for some people. For others, it doesn't. All depends on your goals.

I am in engineering and I find it all depends on the girl and what your relationship entails. You may only meet up for study dates or meet up once a week for a few free hours. It's all about knowing your limits. As far as partying goes, you need to lay down some ground rules for what is and is not allowed. Is making out okay? Flirting? Second base , third base? Just make sure she knows school is number 1 to you and make sure all the "rules" of the relationship are clear.

Originally Posted by lefeuvmc6280

I am in engineering and I find it all depends on the girl and what your relationship entails. You may only meet up for study dates or meet up once a week for a few free hours. It's all about knowing your limits. As far as partying goes, you need to lay down some ground rules for what is and is not allowed. Is making out okay? Flirting? Second base , third base? Just make sure she knows school is number 1 to you and make sure all the "rules" of the relationship are clear.

can we all just agree engineers and girls aren't a good combo? I'm pretty sure girls don't lay down ground rules for sexual activity. for example, ask a girl your talking to if third base is okay? lol. Once a week for a few hours? I'd rather take everyday for half an hour. But really who cant spare 2 hours a day? Sleep faster

Originally Posted by Zebedee

Okay, so, to clarify, maybe what I should have said is that if you are trying to have a career in a highly competitive field, one extra 12 can make a large difference. The secretary/construction/teacher field is not very competitive academically...or, well, not as competitive as the graduate/professional world. Correct me if I'm wrong, but an engineer can get a very good job with a 10.0 CA and an undergrad in engineering. My 10.0 C.A. and BHSc degree will get me a job as a part-time lab assistant, if that. I suppose what I'm saying to OP is to think about how great a distraction dating will cause. If you can handle it, then go for it. It works well for some people. For others, it doesn't. All depends on your goals.

Teaching is actually getting crazy competitive.
If you compare getting into teacher's college with getting into grad school, your chances are better for grad school in most disciplines.

Also, if school is going to be your number 1 priority and you just want a gf on the side, then maybe you *should* wait before entering into a relationship. Unless the girl is aware of and okay with being a lower priority 100% of the time, you shouldn't use someone like that.

Just have a fuck buddy instead of girlfriend

Originally Posted by Jesse.C

Just have a fuck buddy instead of girlfriend

you mean love buddy? the problem with that is theres no telling who else theyre sleeping with, so at least you have to make her think your boyfriend and girlfriend. you dont wanna share those kind of things. im so tempted to write a book on relationships. again, i owe dr. brule for my knowledge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFK15...E5DB1ED67BA C

Originally Posted by starfish

Also, if school is going to be your number 1 priority and you just want a gf on the side, then maybe you *should* wait before entering into a relationship. Unless the girl is aware of and okay with being a lower priority 100% of the time, you shouldn't use someone like that.

It's not uncommon for people to put relationships behind school in terms of priority. A lot of my friends are like that and, personally, I try to keep my SO completely out of the picture when making academic decisions.

Originally Posted by eddiemurphy

you mean love buddy? the problem with that is theres no telling who else theyre sleeping with, so at least you have to make her think your boyfriend and girlfriend.

Or you could have a more formalized agreement, in which you acknowledge that you're attracted to each other, both want a sexual relationship but not a romantic one, and want to be sexually exclusive (or at least informed) in order to be safe. People do it.

Originally Posted by eddiemurphy

im so tempted to write a book on relationships. again, i owe dr. brule for my knowledge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFK15...E5DB1ED67BA C

Wat.

Originally Posted by Amaryll

It's not uncommon for people to put relationships behind school in terms of priority. A lot of my friends are like that and, personally, I try to keep my SO completely out of the picture when making academic decisions.

I think it's normal for a relationship to be behind school some of the time, but when a SO is never your priority because you just focus on school, that's not fair to them unless they signed up for it - that's all I meant.

Balance is key