01-27-2010 at 10:13 AM
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#1
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Finding a Girlfriend ...
Okay, surprisingly enough I am not asking for myself. (should be, but not now)
I have a friend who is fresh off the plane from Pakistan and I get the feeling he is looking for a girlfriend. The thing is, this is his first time in Canada so he isnt used to the culture or the dating scene. From our conversation last night, it seems he has been surrounded by the arranged marriage culture so he just isnt familiar with Canada's dating scene.
As you can imagine, since I am asking on here about how he should go about things, you can take a guess at how proficient I am with dating. Plus I do homework all the time so I am somewhat useless in social matters.
Any ideas on what I could suggest to him? Places to go, things to get involved with, actions to take? I'm almost as clueless as he is when it comes to our western courtship rituals.
Help!
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01-27-2010 at 10:19 AM
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#2
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Do you know him well enough to know if he is Muslim? Just wondering because then they have their own ways of going about that.
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01-27-2010 at 10:25 AM
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#3
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Yes he is Muslim.
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01-27-2010 at 10:54 AM
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Does he speak english fluently? Does he have an accent? Because I would imagine those would put him in a disadvantage with girls.
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01-27-2010 at 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Souldier
Does he speak english fluently? Does he have an accent? Because I would imagine those would put him in a disadvantage with girls.
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I don't think the accent will hurt him, as long as he can speak clearly enough for people to understand him. One of my guy friends has a strong Indian accent and I don't even notice it.
To the OP: If he has trouble speaking English, he might be able to find a girl who speaks the same language as him. Is he going to Mac?
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01-27-2010 at 11:12 AM
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He wants to improve his English, but I had a long conversation with him in English yesterday with no problem. He has an accent, but it doesn't get in the way at all of understanding his words. His accent just adds flavor to his English. He's going to Mac right now, but I dont think he would want to limit himself just to girls who share another language. I'd rather see him with someone where the common language was English so he could get better at English.
I just dont even know where to start giving advice because I'm worse off when it comes to dating than he is. He's just new to Canada's dating culture, whereas I'm terrified of approaching women; so he already has the clear advantage. I have no clue what I could suggest to him, which is why I ask all of you knowledgeable people.
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01-27-2010 at 11:12 AM
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#7
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i really hate it when individuals immigrate to canada and immediately feel the need to assimilate. Tell your friend to take it easy, tell him to interact with others during class and tutorials.
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01-27-2010 at 11:14 AM
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Umm...if he is muslim, and you are trying to hook him up, he will most likely get his ass whooped when he goes back to pakistan. Make sure he understands the dating concept clearly b4 you actually set him up.
And about the set up thing: first find out what type of girl he is interested in. A lot of brown ppl in uni will only date brown ppl, so that should narrow your pool down significantly
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01-27-2010 at 11:24 AM
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#9
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I dont want to derail the thread but fir a little bit of humor make sure he doesnt try this this.
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01-27-2010 at 11:29 AM
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#10
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I'm not trying to set him up, he just wants some advice on how to go about things. He can make his own decisions, he just doesnt understand how things work(frankly neither do I).
Perhaps asking for dating advice on an internet message board was doomed to fail from the beginning: should have thought this one through first. ha
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01-27-2010 at 11:37 AM
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It completely depends on what kinds of girls he'd like to meet. He should realize that in Canada, everyone is different. There's Muslim girls, Christian girls, Jewish girls, Middle Eastern, African, Caucasian, European girls, and so on with all very different customs as to dating and marriage.
Even within each race and religion, they may be completely different as to how they view the dating scene... it's best he just proceed with caution.
As a middle eastern girl, personally, I like it when a guy has the confidence to talk to me if he's interested. If we still like each other and have that "spark" (in a friendship), then he can ask me out on a date. There's no way I'll ask the guy out on a date.
So based on your initial post, basically I think he has it. If he already has confidence in approaching women and can face rejection, he'll eventually get a girlfriend. Oh and good places to meet girls would obviously be in university, especially in his classes. I have no clue about parties and bars, and all that.
Last edited by Parnian : 01-27-2010 at 11:39 AM.
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01-27-2010 at 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossclot
Perhaps asking for dating advice on an internet message board was doomed to fail from the beginning: should have thought this one through first. ha
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Agreed
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01-27-2010 at 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rossclot
Perhaps asking for dating advice on an internet message board was doomed to fail from the beginning: should have thought this one through first. ha
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Yo, you just insulted people here who have experience. It's not like we're one of those predominantly geeky/nerdy/weird message boards.
The reason I asked if he is Muslim is because they have their own ways/rules/customs to follow. Don't expect him to date the "Western way". If he is devout he can only date Muslimahs or if he chooses but usually this isn't so common either Christian and Jewish women. And he cannot technically just be alone with whoever he has an interest with. Family must know/approve, chaperone, and so on. I'm pretty sure that if he is in tune with his religion and culture he'd know how to go about finding a woman. There are a lot of resources within his own community maybe he should go ask them.
EDIT: What Parnian said too.
Last edited by Proxy : 01-27-2010 at 11:51 AM.
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01-27-2010 at 11:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnian
Oh and good places to meet girls would obviously be in university, especially in his classes. I have no clue about parties and bars, and all that.
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Not in engineering ...the last time I counted there were 12 girls in a class of 135.
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01-27-2010 at 11:54 AM
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#15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Proxy
There are a lot of resources within his own community maybe he should go ask them.
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What resources are you referring to?
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