Interesting, i just heard a reference by dan savage on his podcast to a fetish where people wanna live in dungeons 24/7, never see the light of day again and have limbs sawwed off and other shit. That must be some powerful stuff but I guess maybe they are probably of the class of unrealizable fetishes or w/e that he discusses. Wonder if anyone ever went so far, must be some strong orgasms to make you want to do all that.

But I can see being tied down and dungeonized for a weekend happening pretty easy.

Originally Posted by NowHere

Rape and testing sexual preferences is two different things.

True, I know two girls who're into rather rough intercourse and male domination, but it's always purely consensual.

I also recently found out one of my male friends was into male domination and general BDSM (which I just think is interesting since I've never met a guy who admitted to being into it IRL before).

Originally Posted by Tailsnake

True, I know two girls who're into rather rough intercourse and male domination, but it's always purely consensual.

I also recently found out one of my male friends was into male domination and general BDSM (which I just think is interesting since I've never met a guy who admitted to being into it IRL before).

Lol I was at work this summer and a couple of guys and a girl were joking around about BDSM and I can't remember if they asked me if I'm into it or if I just volunteered that information but I guess the way I said yes was a bit too serious for them cuz everyone was silent after.

If someone asks me I'll say the truth cuz I can always fall back on 'hey you asked me so wtf', if they don't like my answer. How do you dive into the subject with girls though. In the past I've used, "so do you like to talk about sex?" And if they're like yeah who doesn't. I counter with "oh well I think some people don't, maybe they're too shy or whatever."

Trickier still, how do you dive into the subject with guys?

Originally Posted by NowHere

Lol I was at work this summer and a couple of guys and a girl were joking around about BDSM and I can't remember if they asked me if I'm into it or if I just volunteered that information but I guess the way I said yes was a bit too serious for them cuz everyone was silent after.

If someone asks me I'll say the truth cuz I can always fall back on 'hey you asked me so wtf', if they don't like my answer. How do you dive into the subject with girls though. In the past I've used, "so do you like to talk about sex?" And if they're like yeah who doesn't. I counter with "oh well I think some people don't, maybe they're too shy or whatever."

Trickier still, how do you dive into the subject with guys?

The topics usually come up naturally in conversation. With girls, if I talk long enough, my love life will come up (including sex) and once I share people are willing reciprocate and the conversation gets more and more explicit. With guys it usually happens if you're bored and mention pornography or if you get with a group and everyone starts bragging about sexual exploits (often with pics/texts as proof).

I don't usually start a conversation specifically to talk about sex and I doubt it'd go over very well (especially with people who aren't good friends).

Originally Posted by Tailsnake

The topics usually come up naturally in conversation. With girls, if I talk long enough, my love life will come up (including sex) and once I share people are willing reciprocate and the conversation gets more and more explicit. With guys it usually happens if you're bored and mention pornography or if you get with a group and everyone starts bragging about sexual exploits (often with pics/texts as proof).

I don't usually start a conversation specifically to talk about sex and I doubt it'd go over very well (especially with people who aren't good friends).

Yeah I meant like without it being a d1ck measuring contest

Originally Posted by NowHere

I appreciate your concern for me but I actually already know that and as you pointed out finding evidence for it isn't that difficult.

EDIT: If your so smart (seems like you are), tell me what's your theory in the lack of participation in this thread of anything substantial by most people?

I assure you, I'm really not that smart lol. But, to answer anyway, people aren't participating maybe because, as you said-it's a public forum where anonymity isn't assured and posting is fairly permanent (I've found you can't edit posts that are too old, and you can't delete posts-as far as I know). Sexual kinks are called kinks for a reason-they go beyond mainstream sexual acts, and some people aren't comfortable with that, and as such we're socialized not to talk about them. The macinsiders chat, at least when I've been in there, has at times been fairly explicit, maybe because its not permanent in the same sense that the forum is and it comes across as more of a conversation that way. But its still not something you generally talk about with strangers...People might not want to come on here and talk about whatever sexual exploits they've had because they frankly don't feel the need to share, or don't feel like dealing with the judgment of others, or they are vanilla, or they're just private people. Or a million other reasons.

As for how to get certain topics of conversation up with girls, it kinda depends. If you're dating and want to see where it can go in that respect, watch a film that might bring up the topic..I can't think of any off the top of my head, but I'm sure there are normal films that bring up, say, BDSM. Easy way to transition. Or as other suggested, groups of friends will almost inevitably turn to sex talk at some point.

Watch Young People F***ing. Awesome movie XD

Cool, I'll check that movie out.

Sorry about the length of this post.

What about the fear of pregnancy and infection. Do any of you have rules for this?

Like do you need the person you are with to promise to get an abortion if they get pregnant? Do you need them on the pill? Do you need both? Are condoms a must even with the pill?

Do you need a clean bill of health from STI testing? Do you tolerate them having sex with other people? What about just hanging out with other people? Kissing? Oral? What are the rules about that?

I'm thinking that for me I would be pretty slow to enter into sex with someone now. The fear of pregnancy just runs so high for me. I would probably be fine with just making out, touching, grinding, protected oral and that type of thing for a while.

I feel like I need to be financially secured before I start risking bringing another person into the world. I dunno, on the other hand if I loved and trusted the other person and they would get an abortion then I guess I would have sex. But after the first abortion we would have to talk about it again I think, things might be weird.

I guess trust is key. When they say they aren't sleeping with other people or if they are they say they are amazingly concerned and safe about it and their health you gotta trust them.

Anyway what do you guys think, again sorry this was so long.

P.S. Guess nobody can never blame me for not answering my own questions now, for some reason people seem to think that.

Not gonna lie...

that was your best post so far.

Originally Posted by NowHere

P.S. Guess nobody can never blame me for not answering my own questions now, for some reason people seem to think that.

You didn't answer any questions, you just asked more, and told people you're paranoid about getting girls preggers or getting the aids more than anything else.

I don't really run into these issues because I don't find random sex with people you're not in a relationship with appealing?

Originally Posted by RyanC

You didn't answer any questions, you just asked more, and told people you're paranoid about getting girls preggers or getting the aids more than anything else.

I don't really run into these issues because I don't find random sex with people you're not in a relationship with appealing?

Battle of the posts, whose is more worthless?

EDIT: And I don't see how these issues go away when you are in 'a relationship'.

EDIT 2: And I did dish out some of where I stand in regard to those questions so whether or not I answered them myself there is debatable hotshot. (Had to throw in the hotshot) .

Originally Posted by NowHere

Battle of the posts, whose is more worthless?

EDIT: And I don't see how these issues go away when you are in 'a relationship'.

EDIT 2: And I did dish out some of where I stand in regard to those questions so whether or not I answered them myself there is debatable hotshot. (Had to throw in the hotshot) .

I'm talking about closed relationships, not ones where your S.O. is screwing other people? :S
Birth control works... most of the time.

Originally Posted by RyanC

I'm talking about closed relationships, not ones where your S.O. is screwing other people? :S
Birth control works... most of the time.

Even in closed relationships you have to have trust. Are you saying that in the perception of a closed relationships (whether that perception is true or not) there is no chance of infection or pregnancy?

EDIT: Yeah, so if birth control works most of the time and in general, what are your rules?

Originally Posted by NowHere

Even in closed relationships you have to have trust. Are you saying that in the perception of a closed relationships (whether that perception is true or not) there is no chance of infection or pregnancy?

EDIT: Yeah, so if birth control works most of the time and in general, what are your rules?

I understand your concern, but the assumption here is that you can trust this person. If you're using protection purely to prevent infection, chances are its going to be inefficient, because you reach a wall as to what you're going to be doing to each other.. and that protection is put in place because you're, on some level, assuming they're unfaithful.

Rules? Pills is all that comes to mind, really.

How long do you generally know the person? How many dates? etc.