Think you don't need a prenup even if you have nothing when you get married?

The 50 or so guys at work who built up from nothing after they were married and now live in basement and bachelor apartments while their ex wifes and new boyfriends live in the house they broke their backs for 25 to get would beg to differ.

I work too hard to lose anything no matter how small. Marriage nowadays is a joke with what, half ending in divorce.

Bring in relationship contracts like they have in France (i think) where you agree to terms for 3 or 5 years and can then decide to renew or cancel the contract with your partner. Not saying that men are always the breadwinner but every guy I have ever know to get married wanted a prenup but were to scared to ask. Even my friend that practices family law was afraid and he deals with this crap everyday. Contracts make it built in.

i'd never ask them to sign a prenup nor
would i sign one that's bs in my opinion

Originally Posted by darkstar

Think you don't need a prenup even if you have nothing when you get married?

The 50 or so guys at work who built up from nothing after they were married and now live in basement and bachelor apartments while their ex wifes and new boyfriends live in the house they broke their backs for 25 to get would beg to differ.

I work too hard to lose anything no matter how small. Marriage nowadays is a joke with what, half ending in divorce.

Bring in relationship contracts like they have in France (i think) where you agree to terms for 3 or 5 years and can then decide to renew or cancel the contract with your partner. Not saying that men are always the breadwinner but every guy I have ever know to get married wanted a prenup but were to scared to ask. Even my friend that practices family law was afraid and he deals with this crap everyday. Contracts make it built in.

completely agree, to have to work your butt off then have your stupid ex-wife take it away would be the worst.

I also think that this is almost solely a guy issue! I won't go into details but I've met several driven woman with careers who would b itch that their partner was either in school or inbetween jobs, one co-worker who was a manager and could've easily supported a family flat out said "I CANT BE THE BREADWINNER' this needs to change.

Originally Posted by SydVicious

completely agree, to have to work your butt off then have your stupid ex-wife take it away would be the worst.

I also think that this is almost solely a guy issue! I won't go into details but I've met several driven woman with careers who would b itch that their partner was either in school or inbetween jobs, one co-worker who was a manager and could've easily supported a family flat out said "I CANT BE THE BREADWINNER' this needs to change.

Not saying you're dead wrong (because I don't know the stats on this), but just because you've met a few women like that, it doesn't mean it's almost solely a guy issue. Every person and every relationship is different.

Originally Posted by Kathy2

Not saying you're dead wrong (because I don't know the stats on this), but just because you've met a few women like that, it doesn't mean it's almost solely a guy issue. Every person and every relationship is different.

aren't you the person that said you don't care about money? you kind of lost all credibility after saying something so utterly false.

It is definitely a conversation I feel I would need to have. Yes, talking about money isn't the most enjoyable discussion in the world, but marriage does involve dealing with some unpleasant but very necessary things. Finances are one of them.

A lot of marriages do end up in divorce, and while I'm sure myself and my partner would care for each other (as almost all do), it would be unrealistic to believe that wouldn't happen to us. People change, and we might just end up very different in a decade or so, especially if we married young.

The life I had before them is a life I worked hard to maintain, particularly with whatever assets I own. To automatically consider that either one of us could claim the others' is a bit offensive. What we worked for together is another issue, but I do not want to spend time arguing about what they're entitled to from a life they were not a part of.

If they needed assistance or support, I would be happy to help them without question or guilting them. However, that is a separate story. Given my disposition as a person, I generally care a great deal. If I want to offer it/they needed something, they'd almost always receive my support. If for some reason, there was something I didn't put on the table, that would be for a good reason.

Nobody gets married thinking that they may get divorced. I think that ultimately, you need to protect yourself no matter what. While I agree that you don't want your ex to take you for everything that you worked for for the length of your marriage, I hugely disagree that it is only "bitchy ex-wives" who do this. Men are equally guilty.

Also, you have to realize that if the male is the breadwinner and the female is a stay at home Mom (for example), that was a decision made between the two of them. It obviously deleted the fact that they would have to had paid huge money for child day care, and also she'll have never had a pension because she didn't have a job. Being a stay at home Mom IS a job. Is this event, I believe she is equally entitled to a portion of his pension, as well.

Also, obviously, this is referring to a case in which the couple are parents.