11-26-2011 at 11:28 PM
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#16
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Elite Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adaptation
Laval
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damn it! hah |
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11-26-2011 at 11:32 PM
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#17
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 128
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If you can walk and talk, go to Brock
If you can walk and talk a little faster, go to McMaster
If your gay, go to Laurier
If you can hold a fork, go to York
If you want to be able to pay rent, don't go to Trent
If you smell like poo, go to Waterloo
If you know your ABC's, go to U of T
Oh, and a Mac joke all in good fun:
How many McMaster students does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as any Queen's student.
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11-27-2011 at 12:53 AM
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#18
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 330
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I heard Mary Koziol say this one during welcome week last year:
How many commerce students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, to hold it in place as the world revolves around them.
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11-27-2011 at 11:05 AM
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#19
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 95
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What do the maple leafs and Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!
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11-27-2011 at 12:54 PM
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#20
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Power Abuser
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,170
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darklink121
What do the maple leafs and Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!
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Hahaha. +1
/12chars |
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11-27-2011 at 02:02 PM
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#21
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darklink121
What do the maple leafs and Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!
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I just got it. xD Poor Maple Leafs.
(I don't watch hockey, probably why.)
EDIT:
I'd tell the one about the broken pencil but it has no point. |
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11-27-2011 at 02:20 PM
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#22
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Senior Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by darklink121
What do the maple leafs and Titanic have in common?
They both look good until they hit the ice!
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That was funny.... UNTIL THIS YEAR BABEH! Now you just look silly.
GO LEAFS GO!
__________________
Honours Life Science. Year III
Lana02
says thanks to Sintos for this post.
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11-27-2011 at 02:40 PM
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#23
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
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I heard this joke on QI:
First-year students at medical school are receiving their first anatomy class.
They gather around the surgery table with a cadaver covered by a white sheet.
The professor says, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you must not be disturbed by anything involving the human body.”
As an example the professor pulls back the sheet, sticks his finger in the cadaver's butt, withdraws it and sucks his finger in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he says.
The students hesitate, but eventually take turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the professor says, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention…”
Last edited by doppelganger : 11-27-2011 at 02:45 PM.
-Ish-, Afzal, Alchemist11, anonanon987, britb, comte, darklink121, drpatel, Faer, icecubz, Ish001, Lana02, mastercool, Pay919, Purple2309, RyanC, spyridm
like this.
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11-27-2011 at 02:59 PM
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#24
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Power Abuser
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,170
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doppelganger
I heard this joke on QI:
First-year students at medical school are receiving their first anatomy class.
They gather around the surgery table with a cadaver covered by a white sheet.
The professor says, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you must not be disturbed by anything involving the human body.”
As an example the professor pulls back the sheet, sticks his finger in the cadaver's butt, withdraws it and sucks his finger in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he says.
The students hesitate, but eventually take turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the professor says, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention…”
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Oh my god, ew hahaha. That professor is so boss. |
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11-27-2011 at 03:09 PM
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#25
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sintos
That was funny.... UNTIL THIS YEAR BABEH! Now you just look silly.
GO LEAFS GO!
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They only played 23 games so far this season so there is nothing to get excited about. Lets hope they do well this year especially for your sake or else I fear that you might end up like this fan 
In the mean time here is another joke.
A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".
The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies
"Because they dont beat anyone! |
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11-27-2011 at 03:21 PM
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#26
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,172
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doppelganger
I heard this joke on QI:
First-year students at medical school are receiving their first anatomy class.
They gather around the surgery table with a cadaver covered by a white sheet.
The professor says, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you must not be disturbed by anything involving the human body.”
As an example the professor pulls back the sheet, sticks his finger in the cadaver's butt, withdraws it and sucks his finger in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he says.
The students hesitate, but eventually take turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the professor says, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention…”
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THAT IS DISGUSTING. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW |
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11-27-2011 at 03:33 PM
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#27
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Trolling ain't easy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 3,190
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What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
__________________
Dillon Dixon
Alumni
Software Engineering and Embedded Systems
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11-27-2011 at 03:46 PM
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#28
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 235
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Faer
THAT IS DISGUSTING. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW
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Hahaha it is gross, but I found the joke quite funny anyway. |
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11-27-2011 at 05:09 PM
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#29
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Elite Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,088
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Bio joke:
If I were an enzyme, I would be DNA helicase so that I could unzip your genes. ...
Math jokes:
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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11-27-2011 at 05:19 PM
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#30
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G0DFATHER
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 724
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doppelganger
I heard this joke on QI:
First-year students at medical school are receiving their first anatomy class.
They gather around the surgery table with a cadaver covered by a white sheet.
The professor says, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you must not be disturbed by anything involving the human body.”
As an example the professor pulls back the sheet, sticks his finger in the cadaver's butt, withdraws it and sucks his finger in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he says.
The students hesitate, but eventually take turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and then sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the professor says, “The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention…”
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HAHAHAHA wow I heard this joke from my dad when i was really young i forgot about it
what a coincident that you brought it up |
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