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We are supposed to meet up next week and she said she'd prefer not to talk until then. Is it a sign that she is trying to make it work? If I do make regular eye contact and make reactions to what she says and forms some bonding then would this fragile foundation i built be reversed?

Originally Posted by gongshow

We are supposed to meet up next week and she said she'd prefer not to talk until then. Is it a sign that she is trying to make it work? If I do make regular eye contact and make reactions to what she says and forms some bonding then would this fragile foundation i built be reversed?

Perhaps she doesn't want to communicate through text/messages because you can't always understand how somebody means something.

I.e.
"I like your essay"
could be genuine, sarcastic or disinterested.
You would only know how I really feel about it if you saw me.

Originally Posted by gongshow

We are supposed to meet up next week and she said she'd prefer not to talk until then. Is it a sign that she is trying to make it work? If I do make regular eye contact and make reactions to what she says and forms some bonding then would this fragile foundation i built be reversed?

well if she prefers not to talk until you meet up, I suggest not talking to her until then for sure, talking before seeing her after she requested not to may make you come off as needy, not a good position to fill.

It could mean anything really, I guess you have to wait it out until you see her. Most important thing is to keep natural, if you TRY to show affection and worry about what type of message your giving her, it make look forced and unnatural. Most important thing is to listen and if she asks you a question, give her your answer, and not the answer you think she wants to hear.

once again no ones advice is perfect because everyone is different.

If I were in your shoes, and what she had to say was, negative, i would probably give her all the space she needs and in the meantime work on moving on.

What is this. You don't have a relationship with this person. And if you did she would probably go around behind your back getting her muff destroyed by alpha males.

Start over, new girl, you're done here.

http://pds20.egloos.com/pds/201007/22/35/epicsax.swf

Be as great as the man with the sax and you have her in the bag.

this thread is now about hardcore horse sax.

Could initiating be little things like 'holding her hand' when walking up the steep hill, and walking on the side of the road and keeping her away from the cars?

Originally Posted by gongshow

Could initiating be little things like 'holding her hand' when walking up the steep hill, and walking on the side of the road and keeping her away from the cars?

yeah man and then you could put your jacket down over puddles for her to step over

Originally Posted by Abid.Hasan

yeah man and then you could put your jacket down over puddles for her to step over

LAWL

but in all seriouslyness... no
you cant be holding her hand for a reason...
just do it for the sake of doing it. and she wont consciously realize what side of the road you're walking on.

Originally Posted by gongshow

I got to know a girl. She's my friend's sister. We have known each other for month now. When we met, we knew there was something going on. And we eventually admitted feelings for each other. Shortly after (week later), we decided to take it slow by being a friend as parents and her brother was strongly against it. We agree to wait couple years, but we were going to spend that two years to work at it. She still called me sweet names and things seemed to be good. But I guess I talked to her too much and made things less mysterious for her. And things slowly changed. I can tell there was no respect from her in this relationships. I seemed to get more hurt in this relationship than gaining something. So I was telling her to ending it. But she said she was only going to push me away to the point where I will notice something is wrong and act on it instead of seeing me give up. And she felt that she realized how much i value to her until she is on the verge of seeing someone leaving. So we decided to meet up sometime. And then she pointed out that because I am a man that I need to initiate something in relationship. She hates to see herself initiating all the time. But I was only refraining from initiating because I was afraid that I will cross the boundary since we decided to wait couple years until then we were just little more than friend. for example, what if i try to hold her hand and she pulls away and things get awkward?

So my question is: although she was keeping me from leaving, it doesnt mean i got respect back from her, right? she only wants attention from me, don't u think?

Simply, no respect, no possibility of a relationship. And as for taking it slow. She wants to speed things up a bit. She clearly told you she wants you to initiate stuff. Try it, and see where it takes you. If she didn't want boundaries crossed, she wouldn't be the one initiating things. If she feels awkward, then pull back. But judge the speed of the relationship and act based on it. Relationships don't go one speed one pace. It fluctuates so be ready. And girls are complicated. If you get confused. The best thing is to ASK. Don't guess and act upon impulse. As long as you guys are communicating, it leaves little room for awkward moments. Talk, break the ice. If shes looking for a fling, then be prepared. But in my opinion, i don't think shes in it for the long haul. Good luck dude

I assume this is irreversible and I will put an end to this. It's difficult to get respect back. There is no way back now. She's only gonna want attention from me. I will drop a bomb on her when we meet her up next week and she may make up a lie to keep me until she finds her boyfriend. I can't do that. I am letting her know it's over.

I assume this is irreversible and I will put an end to this. It's difficult to get respect back. There is no way back now. She's only gonna want attention from me. I will drop a bomb on her when we meet her up next week and she may make up a lie to keep me until she finds her boyfriend. I can't do that. I am letting her know it's over.

Anything is possible in these situation as long as both parties are willing to try. If she is willing o put an effort in to he relationship and still has feelings then i say go for i. If no then there are plenty other out there don worry.

dude, first of all, congrats to be the first person to actually post about a relationship problem on mac insiders, that takes some trust post that lol. Second of all, ask her clearly what she wants, and if she wants you to initiate something, go ahead and attempt to kiss her and see where that goes to.

WTF!!! We have a dating section now?! LOL

MacDating