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Reinstatement letter help

 
Old 05-03-2014 at 01:57 PM   #1
johnwill123
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Reinstatement letter help
Long story short i failed out of my first year and after taking one year off I need to reapply with a letter. It's an one page letter that explains what happened and what i did to fix it. I really appreciate any feed back or criticism. Thank you to all those who commented and to those who viewed it, much appreciated! .

In May 2013, I was told I could not return to school due to my poor academic performance. I am writing this letter for the purpose of being reinstated into life science level two for the fall and winter academic terms of 2014/2015.

It sucks, failing to realize the bigger picture of things. It started off in high school where my bad study habits began to develop, though I always avoided this problem. The bad habits began to catch up to me in first year but I ignored the signs, hoping I could still go by without changing. It started off small, skipping classes and constant partying. With the accumulation of all the skipped classes, I began to fear and feel embarrassed that I did not know any of the material being taught which led to me not going to any of the classes. After first semester, I realized I needed to improve and change my habits. I was motivated to improve and change myself for the better, but that only lasted for a month. I did not tell anyone about my situation due to pride which only worsened the situation. I felt isolated because of my constant lying but it just continued. I did not have the framework or mentality for university and when all my marks came back to me, it hit hard.

It felt good when I told my family about my situation, like a weight has been lifted. With their support, the only thing that I have been looking forward for is to finish what I had started. The year off from school really helped me to re-evaluate myself and to decide on how to change my self. I took a full-time job at McDonalds and took two courses at Athabasca University. I worked hard because of my dedication to go back to school. In a mere three months, I managed to get employee of the month and in an additional month, I had the opportunity for promotion. Though I had a rocky start balancing out work and the online courses, I obtained a final grade of B (Physics 200, first year course) and A-(Criminal behaviour CRJS 360, third year course). I learned the value of hard work, time management and the support friends and family can give.

In the end, I found out my passion in life and how to achieve it. Compared to before where; I did not reach out to anybody; had no goal; and bad habits. I am now motivated and dedicated on achieving my goal. I am hoping not only to return to McMaster but to also prove to myself and all those who believe in me that I have changed for the better. I have zero regrets of what I have done because the year off has improved essential skills necessary for success. After all, the past is to pin point mistakes made so you can change them in the present for a more successful future.

Thank you for taking your time and reading this reinstatement letter and I hope a second chance will be given. I will come back stronger and finish what I had started so that both McMaster and my supporters will be proud of me. I may have fallen down but I can only continue to rise back up.

Once again I am thankful to everyone that viewed my letter!
Old 05-03-2014 at 02:47 PM   #2
HILLyBilly
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Quote:
It sucks,
Already a bad start to what suppose to be a formal letter. Do you actually talk like this to professors?

Quote:
In the end, I found out my passion in life and how to achieve it.
What is the passion? How are you going to achieve it?

Quote:
I am now motivated and dedicated on achieving my goal.
What goal is that?
Old 05-03-2014 at 02:58 PM   #3
johnwill123
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Hm yea I guess you're right. I didn't think of it that way until you pointed it out . As for the goal, I assumed all they cared about was how you fixed your mistakes. Well version 2 is on it's way. Thanks a lot hillbilly for the feed back
Old 05-03-2014 at 03:06 PM   #4
HILLyBilly
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnwill123 View Post
Hm yea I guess you're right. I didn't think of it that way until you pointed it out . As for the goal, I assumed all they cared about was how you fixed your mistakes. Well version 2 is on it's way. Thanks a lot hillbilly for the feed back
The goal is suppose to be educational goal. You need to tell them why you want to go back to McMaster for schooling. Why is it that you need this reinstatement. Why do you want to go back to second year Life Science. In fact, they already mentioned this in the reinstatement guideline.

Its not just about fixing your mistakes either, its also about preventing it from repeating again once they grant you reinstatement.

johnwill123 says thanks to HILLyBilly for this post.
Old 05-03-2014 at 03:36 PM   #5
allanandthera
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnwill123 View Post
.

In May 2013, I was told I could not return to school due to my poor academic performance. I am writing this letter for the purpose of being [reinstated into life science level two for the fall and winter academic terms of 2014/2015. You are being reinstated, you go to first year and your average is reset.]

It sucks, failing to realize the bigger picture of things. It started off in high school where my bad study habits began to develop, though I always avoided this problem. The bad habits began to catch up to me in first year but I ignored the signs, hoping I could still go by without changing. It started off small, skipping classes and constant partying. With the accumulation of all the skipped classes, I began to fear and feel embarrassed that I did not know any of the material being taught which led to me not going to any of the classes. After first semester, I realized I needed to improve and change my habits. I was motivated to improve and change myself for the better, but that only lasted for a month. I did not tell anyone about my situation due to pride which only worsened the situation. I felt isolated because of my constant lying but it just continued. I did not have the framework or mentality for university and when all my marks came back to me, it hit hard. [This should be a reinstatement letter, not a blog post. I also personally think that your reasons are terrible but you can word it in a better manner to make it sound justified for your bad performance. Such as being associated with a wrong group that caused you to develop bad habits.]

It felt good when I told my family about my situation, like a weight has been lifted. With their support, the only thing that I have been looking forward for is to finish what I had started. The year off from school really helped me to re-evaluate myself and to decide on how to change my self. I took a full-time job at McDonalds and took two courses at Athabasca University. I worked hard because of my dedication to go back to school. In a mere three months, I managed to get employee of the month and in an additional month, I had the opportunity for promotion. Though I had a rocky start balancing out work and the online courses, I obtained a final grade of B (Physics 200, first year course) and A-(Criminal behaviour CRJS 360, third year course). I learned the value of hard work, time management and the support friends and family can give. [good, no problem]

In the end, I found out my passion in life [Maybe emphasize on this point and explain what is this passion you speak of]and how to achieve it. Compared to before where; I did not reach out to anybody; had no goal; and bad habits. I am now motivated and dedicated on achieving my goal. I am hoping not only to return to McMaster but to also prove to myself and all those who believe in me that I have changed for the better. I have zero regrets of what I have done because the year off has improved essential skills necessary for success. After all, the past is to pin point mistakes made so you can change them in the present for a more successful future.

Thank you for taking your time and reading this reinstatement letter and I hope a second chance will be given. I will come back stronger and finish what I had started so that both McMaster and my supporters will be proud of me. I may have fallen down but I can only continue to rise back up. [I think you need a stronger end note, again not a blog post, consider writing something more eloquent

Once again I am thankful to everyone that viewed my letter!
In summary: really a rough draft, needs tons of editing, I think you should also leverage the fact that you will be a possible alumni and that McMaster is your dream school and you realized this after your mistake.

johnwill123 says thanks to allanandthera for this post.
Old 05-03-2014 at 03:41 PM   #6
johnwill123
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Hmm i was thinking of adding something like ..
"Through my one year off, I found my inspiration to become a high school teacher . Unlike before I now have a clear path that I am dedicated to follow which involves me returning back to school and finish off with a double major in biology and economics. With my new mentality and support I can promise that the past would not repeat itself."

Thanks for the criticism and feedback. Yes, it's a really rough draft. Planning to do tons of editing tonight
Old 05-03-2014 at 04:43 PM   #7
Moghue
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnwill123 View Post
finish off with a double major in biology and economics.
Don't bite off more than you can chew. Stick to a single major in the reinstatement letter.
Old 05-03-2014 at 05:27 PM   #8
johnwill123
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So i pretty much revamped it. Thank you to all those that have viewed it, much appreciated.
Revamped.

Dear Reinstatement Committee.

I’m writing a letter to show my intent to return to McMaster University to complete my degree in Life Sciences. Due to my poor academic standing I was stopped from returning the 2013/2014 year. However, while I had my time off I did re-evaluate my standings on several things, and have a better perspective on life in the matter. In addition to this letter, I have submitted a letter of reference from my work place and a transcript for my academic work in the past year.

The amount of freedom given to a student when they first enter university is enormous. Being independent, no one to ask what are you doing, or when to do something, it really is a surreal feeling. However, it can get into someone’s head, like myself. I found myself doing several unnecessary things and did not see the bigger picture. I would say going to university is one step into adult hood and I can say that I was not an adult at that time. Over the past year I believe I have progressed as an individual. I can go on about how bad habits caught up to me in the first year like skipping classes, constant partying, and etc. But those are mistakes that I have come to rectify. Over the past year I took a full-time job at McDonald and I worked hard because of my dedication to go back to school. In a mere three months, I managed to get employee of the month and in an additional month, I had the opportunity for promotion.

My parents have always been supportive of me, and I should have realized that they would have had the best interests for me, but my pride clouded my judgement in order to seek advice or help. I learned that asking for help does not make you less of a man or anything, it just shows that you know you need to improve and where. Alongside my full time job, I also wanted to better improve my academic approach so I enrolled in two courses where I achieved an A- and B in the courses. I have better studying habits and I can promise that I will try to be consistent but I will always strive towards perfecting myself. Most of it comes from my new found passion and goal which keeps me dedicated on my path to success. I dream to become a high school teacher where I hope to inspire the next generation. In order to do so I am hoping to return to McMaster and finish off with a major in biology.

I do not want to keep writing promises to you, but rather I want to prove it if you give me a chance. I will do what the likes of Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, and several others who were given a second chance to do what I now know how to achieve my aspiration. Thank you for reading this and I hope you do consider me, as you once did when I applied to McMaster.
Old 05-03-2014 at 05:30 PM   #9
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Thanks for that feed back. I definitely took the wrong approach to it.
Old 05-03-2014 at 06:48 PM   #10
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I would avoid comparing yourself to Steve Jobs and Henry Ford.
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Old 05-03-2014 at 07:04 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kudos View Post
I would avoid comparing yourself to Steve Jobs and Henry Ford.
Yeah, i was quite hesitant on that. Thanks
Old 05-03-2014 at 09:56 PM   #12
allanandthera
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More solid, continue getting others to edit it. Good Luck!
Old 05-04-2014 at 12:49 AM   #13
Chipmunk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johnwill123 View Post
So i pretty much revamped it. Thank you to all those that have viewed it, much appreciated.
Revamped.

Dear Reinstatement Committee.

I’m writing a letter to show my intent to return to McMaster University to complete my degree in Life Sciences.Needs to be more concise/avoid using 'to' three times in a sentence. Also, no contractions (they are not appropriate in formal writing)- i.e., I am writing to express my intent to return to McMaster University in hopes of completing my degree in Life Sciences. Due to my poor academic standing I was stopped from returning the 2013/2014 year. Use active voice...'I was unable to return in 2013'. However, while I had my time off I did re-evaluate my standings on several things, and have a better perspective on life in the matter. This statement is entirely fluff. You should state what these perspectives and "things" are summarily here. Then, elaborate in the following paragraphs. In addition to this letter, I have submitted a letter of reference from my work place and a transcript for my academic work in the past year. This is best said at the end.

The amount of freedom given to a student when they first enter university is enormous. Being independent, no one to ask what are you doing, or when to do something, it really is a surreal feeling. Surreal is the wrong word. However, it can get into someone’s head, like myself. Just say that what repercussions it had on you - speaking generally is a way to distance yourself from the problem. Also, what does getting to your head mean? I think you just want to say "I misused the privilege". I found myself doing several unnecessary things like what? and did not see the bigger picture what is the bigger picture? this is fluff. I would say going to university is one step into adult hood and I can say that I was not an adult at that time how so? you can mention what the bad habits were here. Over the past year I believe I have progressed as an individual. I can go on about how bad habits caught up to me in the first year like skipping classes, constant partying, and etc this sentence should be one sentence earlier..elaborate on what attitudes promoted these behaviours and how they are dealt with now. But those are mistakes that I have come to rectify. For instance, over the past year I took a full-time job at McDonald and I worked hard because of my dedication to go back to school. In a mere (mere sounds cocky) three months, I managed to get employee of the month and in an additional month, I had the opportunity for promotion.

My parents have always been supportive of me, and I should have realized that they would have had the best interests for me, (run on sentence - cut it here) but my pride clouded my judgement in order to seek advice or help. I learned that asking for help does not make you less of a man or anything this is written informally, it just shows that you know you need to improve and where. Alongside my full time job, I also wanted to better improve my academic approach so I enrolled in two courses where I achieved an A- and B in the courses.I have better studying habits maybe explain what you did to improve them: contrast before and after? and I can promise avoid appealing to emotion that I will try to be consistent but I will always strive towards perfecting myself. Most of it comes from my new found passion and goal what is your passion and goal? which keeps me dedicated on my path to success. I dream to become a high school teacher where I hope to inspire the next generation this strikes me as naïve and pretentious - that's just me though. In order to do so I am hoping to return to McMaster and finish off with a major in biology.

I do not want to keep writing promises to you you probably shouldn't: concrete evidence is better, but rather I want to prove it if you give me a chance. I will do what the likes of Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, and several others who were given a second chance to do what I now know how to achieve my aspiration this is pretentious also. Thank you for reading this and I hope you do consider me, as you once did when I applied to McMaster.
My opinion is that it still needs a lot of improvement. Overall, it doesn't seem authentic or personal, and it's full of fluff. However, you have good evidence on your side. Your improved grades are concrete. You can also use your promotion as evidence of improved work ethic. Next steps would be to more clearly identify the problems that led to failure the first time around, and then to systematically outline how you changed them. Avoid sounding grandiose "steve jobs/changed my perspective on life" - just keep it simple and to the point.

johnwill123 says thanks to Chipmunk for this post.
Old 05-04-2014 at 01:12 AM   #14
johnwill123
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chipmunk View Post
My opinion is that it still needs a lot of improvement. Overall, it doesn't seem authentic or personal, and it's full of fluff. However, you have good evidence on your side. Your improved grades are concrete. You can also use your promotion as evidence of improved work ethic. Next steps would be to more clearly identify the problems that led to failure the first time around, and then to systematically outline how you changed them. Avoid sounding grandiose "steve jobs/changed my perspective on life" - just keep it simple and to the point.
you truly are a godsend
Old 05-04-2014 at 01:19 AM   #15
HILLyBilly
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Honestly, you are better off paying someone to do it for you. The University is not going to verify if your reasons are true or not, so just have the writer make it up. As long as they provide a good explanation and stuff, you are fine. Just private message someone like Chipmunk and offer to pay them for the service.



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