I am not really comfortable with who I am, either.


How do you fake confidence...?

Originally Posted by AdelaisAer

I am not really comfortable with who I am, either.


How do you fake confidence...?

It's called acting. Every social situation requires it.

Well, I am not exactly good at acting and/or faking stuff. >.>; I guess I'll just have to do it the hard way, suck it up and try to bring my confidence out.

Originally Posted by AdelaisAer

Well, I am not exactly good at acting and/or faking stuff. >.>; I guess I'll just have to do it the hard way, suck it up and try to bring my confidence out.

Who da man? YOU da man.

Originally Posted by Cliu91

Who da man? YOU da man.

Lolwhut? Okay, time for me to go sleep. lD

Originally Posted by AdelaisAer

Oh, I see. o-o; Well, I will try to do that, then. It's just that since I am socially awkward, I get really shy and it's often difficult for me to just approach people. D:

You are, by far, not the only person who feels this way. University can be a tough place to be for shy people like us, but luckily there are tons of opportunities inside and outside of the classroom to hone your social skills - tutorials, living in res, joining even just one club or society, etc. Hopefully Welcome Week at least helped to bring you out of your shell. As the year goes on and you become familiar with the new territory, you'll impress yourself by how outgoing and friendly you can actually become.

But with that said - don't put too much pressure on yourself to make friends/find a gf, or else the exact opposite might happen. I honestly believe shyness is a good quality to have ; often shy people are also good listeners, modest, hard-working and cautious. Stop calling yourself "shy" and "socially awkward" like it's a bad thing, and stop bringing yourself down with the "I have no self-confidence" nonsense. The more you say it, the truer it becomes, and it won't do you any good. As mentioned already - try pretending that you have confidence. People will believe you and start treating you like a person who has confidence. And then that will give you some confidence. It's an awesome cycle. How do you fake confidence in the first place? - that's what university is for... it's all a learning experience

Personally, just working hard at school and fulfilling my own goals was what helped me to gain confidence... but you'll find your own thing that makes you happy... I'm not giving legitimate advice here or anything, just speaking as a peer who's been there... but maybe focus on reaching your own personal goals (academic, friendships, social skills) before venturing into the [not totally necessary] dating world... remember, baby steps Keep your chin up and smile.

Originally Posted by lawleypop

Fake it.

I don't know why that isn't obvious.

I agree. Just listen to the song 2legit2quit a thousand times, and then be like that.

Also, a drink or two helps (not to the point where your head is spinning though).

Originally Posted by marcie

You are, by far, not the only person who feels this way. University can be a tough place to be for shy people like us, but luckily there are tons of opportunities inside and outside of the classroom to hone your social skills - tutorials, living in res, joining even just one club or society, etc. Hopefully Welcome Week at least helped to bring you out of your shell. As the year goes on and you become familiar with the new territory, you'll impress yourself by how outgoing and friendly you can actually become.

But with that said - don't put too much pressure on yourself to make friends/find a gf, or else the exact opposite might happen. I honestly believe shyness is a good quality to have ; often shy people are also good listeners, modest, hard-working and cautious. Stop calling yourself "shy" and "socially awkward" like it's a bad thing, and stop bringing yourself down with the "I have no self-confidence" nonsense. The more you say it, the truer it becomes, and it won't do you any good. As mentioned already - try pretending that you have confidence. People will believe you and start treating you like a person who has confidence. And then that will give you some confidence. It's an awesome cycle. How do you fake confidence in the first place? - that's what university is for... it's all a learning experience

Personally, just working hard at school and fulfilling my own goals was what helped me to gain confidence... but you'll find your own thing that makes you happy... I'm not giving legitimate advice here or anything, just speaking as a peer who's been there... but maybe focus on reaching your own personal goals (academic, friendships, social skills) before venturing into the [not totally necessary] dating world... remember, baby steps Keep your chin up and smile.

So basically, I need to be more optimistic about myself... Yeah. I try to. And hey, I am a good listener. But these days, it's hard to find someone worth listening to.

Originally Posted by Ownaginatios

I agree. Just listen to the song 2legit2quit a thousand times, and then be like that.

Also, a drink or two helps (not to the point where your head is spinning though).

Right, so I just have to fake everything... And according to her, acting is required for all social situations, which ultimately kinda sounds bad.

Originally Posted by AdelaisAer

Right, so I just have to fake everything... And according to her, acting is required for all social situations, which ultimately kinda sounds bad.

I'm really sorry, bt I don't agree that you should fake anything. Be who YOU are, not somebody else. Learn to be confident about yourself, but that might take time. I anything, that confidence should be genuine. Peole can tell if its not. Plus, I'd be totally turned off by a gy who was half-loaded talking to me. Or even by a guy who seemed super confident at first... but then as time went on, I learned what he's really like. But I do agree with Marcie, there is NOTHING WRONG with being shy. Its who you are. No, people aren't going to come to you. But you need to be happy with yourself, whoever that is, before you can really make any lasting, strong friendship OR relationships. If you're going to care for someone else, you have to be able to care for yourself, first.

Originally Posted by AdelaisAer

Right, so I just have to fake everything... And according to her, acting is required for all social situations, which ultimately kinda sounds bad.

If you think that social situations don't require acting, confirming, following rules, then you're delusional. It doesn't sound bad, that's how life is.

Show up to a 5 star restaurant in sweat pants and hobo hair and talk about how you just got a blow job in an alley.

You obviously hate yourself, so I'm telling you DON'T BE YOURSELF. Social situations don't require it anyways.

If you're a habitual nose picker in private, are you going to pick your nose constantly in public while trying to meet new people? Probably not.

Adel put it this way even if you try act confident and screw up on meeting someone....so what? there are like 30 thousand other ppl left to try talking to and honestly screwing up when you talk to someone is not a big deal it happens to everyone and its good experience you learn from it so just go out and talk to random students (even thou we were taught not to talk to strangers :o) yu'll meet new people definatly and ur confidence will surely increase. hey even thou we acutally havent met i already like you as a friend ^^

Originally Posted by bloodywarz

Adel put it this way even if you try act confident and screw up on meeting someone....so what? there are like 30 thousand other ppl left to try talking to and honestly screwing up when you talk to someone is not a big deal it happens to everyone and its good experience you learn from it so just go out and talk to random students (even thou we were taught not to talk to strangers :o) yu'll meet new people definatly and ur confidence will surely increase. hey even thou we acutally havent met i already like you as a friend ^^

http://www.macinsiders.com/showthrea...ely-31366.html

plzread.

Originally Posted by lawleypop

http://www.macinsiders.com/showthrea...ely-31366.html

plzread.

Lol. I had a feeling this was gonna come.

Originally Posted by lawleypop

http://www.macinsiders.com/showthrea...ely-31366.html

plzread.

ROFL hahaha im so sorry is that one of yur pet peeves XD?