I'm interested in hearing your opinions on this topic as it's been causing me a lot of stress in my relationship... I feel really torn and don't know wut to do.

The question is: do you think it is 'wrong' for anyone in a relationship to be friends/hang out with someone of the opposite sex?

Well, my boyfriend of 4 years seems to think so and it has been a recurrent cause for argument over the years. I have one guy friend that I enjoy talking to every once in awhile and my boyfriend gets really upset over this.

What do y'all think?

Originally Posted by Ellywinkle

I'm interested in hearing your opinions on this topic as it's been causing me a lot of stress in my relationship... I feel really torn and don't know wut to do.

The question is: do you think it is 'wrong' for anyone in a relationship to be friends/hang out with someone of the opposite sex?

Well, my boyfriend of 4 years seems to think so and it has been a recurrent cause for argument over the years. I have one guy friend that I enjoy talking to every once in awhile and my boyfriend gets really upset over this.

What do y'all think?

I don't blame your boyfriend for getting upset.

He probably noticed your guy friend trying to make a move on you but you are too naive and innocent to noticed it. It is not at all appropriate for a girl to have guy friends. This is due to guys being horn dog and willing to seize every opportunity to take advantage of a sweet girl like you even when you think otherwise.

Or it could be that your boyfriend is unsecure and possessive. Either way you should please him as much as you can since you seems to love him very much to even get upset over this.

Remember! You aren't getting any younger. You don't want to die alone do you?

Your guy is an insecure tool

I know what you're going through. =)
I would never have been able to take it for four years though!
Try hanging out with a group, with that guy and your guy friend? Let him see how you guys interact.
Find out what the problem is, maybe he thinks your flirtatious in nature, or he really thinks the guy is hitting on you.
I'm not really sure, but good luck! It's definitely a tough situation.

Originally Posted by RyanC

Your guy is an insecure tool

To further expand on this point.

Dating people that displayed prominent insecurity is a very worthwhile experience. They will cling to you like a sweet baby always checking up on you. The best part is when they start to mold you to be a different person by slowly detaching you from your social group (who needs them anyway when you have such a good significant other?).

Everyone has insecurity, so don't think you can escape it. It is best to do whatever is needed to keep the relationship alive. After all, finding someone love (definition differ) you is quite hard at the original poster's age.

I think the problem is that it's just this one guy, not 5. For some reason being friends with one guy is worse than 5 guys just because it's likely you're much closer to him. Its not wrong to have friends of opposite sex while in a relationship, but you should examine what kind of things you talk to this friend about, how close you are and of course if he ever made a move on you, hinted that he's interested and all that stuff guys do when they like a girl. Lastly don't be scard to dump your bf if he is just being crazy. But if you really love your bf, consider if you want to make things easier or harder for your relationship. Obvi talking less to your friend will improve things.

You should tell him to stop hanging around with other girls. It's only fair.

I think it's quite unreasonable for your boyfriend to say that he doesn't want you hanging out with other guys. Whenever I hear about tese situations (whether it be with a boyfriend not wanting his girl having guy friends or vise versa) it always seems that there are some trust issues involved. I might start by asking your boyfriend why exactly it bothers him so much. It might be (like someone previously mentioned) that your bf thinks that one of the guys is trying to make a move on your, but maybe you're not noticing it. In my opinion, I think I would be able to pick out someone who was trying to make a move on me so I feel like that might be some kind of excuse, but you never know.

Is it that he feels you're spending more time with these other guy friends and not him? Either way, I'd try and find out his reasoning, but either way, his behaviour (in my eyes) shows that he doesn't trust you (for whatever reason, legit, or not). My suggestion would be to have him hang out with you and your guy friends so that he can see that your relationship with these other guys is strickly as friends and that your bf has your affections.
Hope you figure this problem out! Good luck!

People might think I'm a sucker after what happened to me (Longtime girlfriend left me and began a fling with a male friend), but I truly believe that if you are to have a happy and secure relationship you have to have a certain level of trust

My relationship wasn't healthy and almost certainly would have failed even if my ex had only female friends (in fact some of her female friends were part of what broke us up). Having several close female friends I often found myself on the same end of the stick as the OP and it's seriously unpleasant. OP, I recommend you simply tell your boyfriend he has to trust you for things to work. If he can't understand this than he isn't the boyfriend you deserve.

Well, I can't really judge this situation without first knowing more about your relationship with this other man. It can be really easy for an enjoyable conversation to seem flirtatious in the eyes of your significant other.

For sure, relationships can't function without the trust, and if he doesn't trust you, even though he should, then he isn't worth your time. That might be extremely hard to wrap your head around at first, but in the end, you should be with someone who isn't worrying that you're going to be acting inappropriately with your guy friends.

I made a thread up all about this topic a while ago called Guy Friends/Girl Friends. You should maybe check that out, it has all the answers.