Can I just point out that a lot of today's fashion for girls consists of 'suggestive outfits'? That's why it's so hard for me to find clothes when I go shopping >.>

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

.. and guys hate teases. Don't try to argue with me and try and justify suggestive outfits, because wearing a suggestive outfit attracts guys, and either you sleep with them, meaning you're a slut, or you don't, meaning you're a tease. The purpose of suggestive outfits is to get laid; anything else, and you're just teasing guys, and no guys wants to be teased.
..
any girl that dresses suggestively to feel good about themselves has even worse crippling insecurities. Do you think so little of yourself that you need to dress like a slut just to convince yourself that you're pretty?
...

1. I like teases, my veins don't pop out of my head in frustration when I see a cute girl walk by who decided to dress in a way to make guys drool, unlike how you make it seem you do.



2. She never said anything about dressing like a slut, theres a difference between dressing to look good and wearing something thats over-the-top 'teasyness' (not that there's anything wrong with that)

3. I like it when my girlfriend dresses well with the intentenion of looking pretty. I don't think when somebody dresses in a way that will get attention from guys means that they're looking to get laid. Just because theres a lot of dudes walking around out there who can't control their raging errections in public doesn't mean girls need to change their attitudes towards looking well.


tldr: y u so mad

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

In the end, it's up to you, but as a guy, let me explain something: a girl that dresses suggestively is either a slut or a tease, and guys hate teases. Don't try to argue with me and try and justify suggestive outfits, because wearing a suggestive outfit attracts guys, and either you sleep with them, meaning you're a slut, or you don't, meaning you're a tease. The purpose of suggestive outfits is to get laid; anything else, and you're just teasing guys, and no guys wants to be teased.
Let me put this into context for you: have you ever gone to a club for the sole purpose of dancing, with no intention of picking someone up? If so, you've pissed of a lot of guys; guys go to clubs to pick up girls. Yes, there is the odd guy that will go to a club with no intention of picking someone up, but I have never in my life met a guy that has gone to a club just to dance! The closest I've ever seen to that is straight guys in a gay club that were dragged there by girls. Guys get jealous because guys understand how guys think.

Also, you think that a guy who's jealous when his girlfriend constantly dresses suggestively has to deal with his crippling insecurities, but let me point something out to you: any girl that dresses suggestively to feel good about themselves has even worse crippling insecurities. Do you think so little of yourself that you need to dress like a slut just to convince yourself that you're pretty? Who's more insecure: the guy that thinks that he managed to score a girl so hot that he thinks every guys wants to sleep with her, or the girl that needs to look hot to validate her self-worth? I'm not saying the guy doesn't have insecurities, but if you care more about looking hot than being happy, I don't think the guy is the big issue.

I'd also like to add one more thing: my suggestions are to help your boyfriend overcome his jealousy, not to bow down to it. If you expect your boyfriend to change for you, you have to compromise! My suggestions are assuming you don't understand why you have a jealous boyfriend! The truth is, no matter what the feminists may tell you, women are not better than men. If you're boyfriend is jealous, you shouldn't assume it's his fault - you should look for the root cause of his jealousy. I've tried to explain how to help your boyfriend overcome his jealousy. If you're not willing to make an effort to solve problems, you do not deserve him.

You're argument is that you like dressing like a slut. Fine. You have a choice, and if you think your clothes are more important than your boyfriend, then let your boyfriend go, because he deserves better.

As for you're point about how you hug friends often, you're just saying that you're not willing to take his feelings into account. I know the media may tell you otherwise, and you may not think this is true, but guys have feelings, and guys are much more complicated than you think. If you aren't willing to accept the fact that your boyfriend may consider a hug to be a huge deal, then maybe you need to learn to think about others. I am sick of girls automatically playing the victim card! We live in a society where guys are expected to bend over backwards for girls, and it's simply not fair! If you are so selfish that you aren't willing to accept that your boyfriend's jealousy may be your fault, then you don't deserve a boyfriend.

I don't want to offend women, and I know that there are cases where there is irrational and extreme jealousy, but the truth is that there are too many women that think they're better than men, and too many men that think women are better then them. This is not true! The feminist movement worked because it was about equality, but somehow, it became a wolf in sheep's clothing, and because about dominance. We need to accept that women are no better than men, and men are no better than women. We are equal! If your argument is "my boyfriend shouldn't be jealous, now I'm going to make him wait for me while I dress like a slut, go to a club, and hug every guy I meet," then you are an inconsiderate scumbag. Relationships are about compromise - and if you won't change, why should he.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but this is true. If you need to dress like a slut to feel good about yourself, you're the problem, not him. And if you don't think about your boyfriends feelings, why should he think about yours. It's a two way street, and if you don't meet him in the middle, you don't deserve him.

... LOL. Troll?

Originally Posted by RyanC

She never said anything about dressing like a slut, theres a difference between dressing to look good and wearing something thats over-the-top 'teasyness' (not that there's anything wrong with that)

I never said not to look good, I said to avoid dressing suggestively. And why do you like it when girls are teases? Is it because you're looking at them as though they're objects, and not people? Because that's the exact type of thing that a jealous boyfriend would get upset about


This outfit is stylish, makes a woman look good, but is unlikely to make a boyfriend jealous.


This is a very bad idea.

If you have a boyfriend that's not jealous, this is a non-issue, but if you have a jealous boyfriend, try and understand him, and try and realize that your actions may be the cause of his jealousy.
And as for the question of whether something's okay if you think it's innocent, ask yourself this: "Is it okay for a random person to grope you if they think it's innocent?" Same basic principle.

Where the **** did you get this from my post?

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

You're argument is that you like dressing like a slut. Fine. You have a choice, and if you think your clothes are more important than your boyfriend, then let your boyfriend go, because he deserves better.

And this?

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

If you aren't willing to accept the fact that your boyfriend may consider a hug to be a huge deal, then maybe you need to learn to think about others.

And this?

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

If you need to dress like a slut to feel good about yourself, you're the problem, not him. And if you don't think about your boyfriends feelings, why should he think about yours. It's a two way street, and if you don't meet him in the middle, you don't deserve him.

I am so confused as to where this is coming from.

Let my boyfriend go, he deserves better. Personal insults, really? My relationship is fine, thanks. And **** this, I'm done with this thread, not opening it again. I have exams to study for. And for the record? I dress like this. That is one of my lower-cut shirts, as opposed to ones with higher necklines.

I don't have the time to provide a detailed response to this post of yours, so here's a TL;DR:
**** the what?

Originally Posted by Lois

... LOL. Troll?

I'm not trolling. All people are equal under article 1 of the universal declaration of human rights. If you don't consider the fact that you may be the problem, then you are not in an equal partnership, and you don't deserve to be in that partnership. There are too many times that girls are told they are too good for their boyfriends, but if they can't accept that they may not be good enough for their boyfriends, then they are as bad as men who treat women as sex objects.

Michael Jackson said "I'm starting with the man in the mirror." Everyone should take the same approach. If there's injustice in the world, if there's something wrong with your relationship, if there's anything you think should change, the first thing you have to do is take a good, long look in the mirror, and, as the late Michael Jackson said: "Take a look at yourself and make a change."

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

I'm not trolling. All people are equal under article 1 of the universal declaration of human rights. If you don't consider the fact that you may be the problem, then you are not in an equal partnership, and you don't deserve to be in that partnership. There are too many times that girls are told they are too good for their boyfriends, but if they can't accept that they may not be good enough for their boyfriends, then they are as bad as men who treat women as sex objects.

Michael Jackson said "I'm starting with the man in the mirror." Everyone should take the same approach. If there's injustice in the world, if there's something wrong with your relationship, if there's anything you think should change, the first thing you have to do is take a good, long look in the mirror, and, as the late Michael Jackson said: "Take a look at yourself and make a change."

It's funny that you bring up human rights because it seems like you'd be the type of person who would victim blame if a woman gets raped or sexually assaulted.

Troll senses are tingling.

Ryan summed it up the best:

Just because theres a lot of dudes walking around out there who can't control their raging erections in public doesn't mean girls need to change their attitudes towards looking well.

+ If a guy can't handle the fact that their significant other has to interact with people of the opposite gender they should probably move to a country where females and males are segregated. :| This is Canada.

Originally Posted by Amaryll

And for the record? I dress like this. That is one of my lower-cut shirts, as opposed to ones with higher necklines.

You and I have a very different opinion of what suggestive clothes are. I'm talking about clothes designed to show off cleavage and emphasize the groin. The clothing pictured in the link you posted is what I'm suggesting people wear!

Originally Posted by Lois

It's funny that you bring up human rights because it seems like you'd be the type of person who would victim blame if a woman gets raped or sexually assaulted.

Troll senses are tingling.

There is no excuse for rape or assault, and I wouldn't blame a rape or sexual assault victim even if that victim is a hot nudist. Everyone is responsible for their actions, but not for their emotions. If a guy is jealous but doesn't act, and his girlfriend cheats on him, it is the girlfriend's fault for cheating, but the guy would never forgive himself for not acting. And although I wouldn't blame a rape or assault victim, I'd do what I could to discourage them from entering scenarios where they're likely to be raped.

Let's put it this way: Sara is a 12 year old girl, and she wants to go to a party where there will be no adults, there will be boys up to 25 years old, there will be plenty of alcohol, and there may even be drugs. Any parent that would knowingly let Sara go to this party would be considered unfit, and Sara would be put into foster care. Let's say Sara sneaks out, and goes to the party without her parents knowing. There, someone slips a roofie in her beer, and she gets raped by a 25 year old guy and his friends. The parents do not for a second blame Sara for being raped, and nobody doubts that the entire fault of the rape is that of the 25 year old guy and his friend that raped the 12 year old girl, but that doesn't change the fact that her parents tried to stop Sara from going to the party, because they knew that it was not safe, and it doesn't change the fact that Sara was the one that chose to go to the party. And, in all likelihood, Sara would spend the next 6 years of her life with extremely overprotective parents, because Sara's parents will spend the remainder of their lives blaming themselves for not stopping Sara from going to that party.

In this story, Sara is the girlfriend, the parents are the jealous boyfriend, and the rape is the chance of something bad happening. Jealousy may not feel like a good thing, but it's there because the jealous party is afraid of what may happen, and they want to prevent the worst case scenario.

If something bad happens, it's rarely ever the victims fault, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to avoid being the victim. If you're on a boat that sinks, it's not your fault if you drown, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't wear a life jacket.

Just because theres a lot of dudes walking around out there who can't control their raging erections in public doesn't mean girls need to change their attitudes towards looking well.

So you're saying: "Just because there's a lot of bear walking around that can rip your face off doesn't mean people should stop poking bears with sticks."
I'm not saying you should avoid looking good, I'm saying you need to find a middle ground. You don't need to avoid camping because there are bears, but if you see a bear, does it make any sense to poke it with a stick? I'm sick of everyone expecting guys to make all the concessions while girls make none.

As for segregation of men and women, all I said to that effect was that, if you have a jealous boyfriend, don't put yourself in situations that antagonize him! If he's afraid of you getting mauled by a bear, why would you sneak off and break into the bear cage at the zoo?
I'm all for men and women mixing. I think everyone should have both male and female friends. But my original point was that hanging out with guys your jealous boyfriend doesn't trust will only make your boyfriend more paranoid and more jealous. I originally said that you should mix your personal and romantic life, and you should get your boyfriend to befriend your guy friends. This was the ultimate goal of my original point: to solve the problem of a jealous boyfriend, you first have to reassure him, then you have to target the cause of the jealousy. If a kid's afraid of lightning, first you calm the kid down, and reassure the kid that you'll protect him; until you do that, the kid will be to panicked to do anything. Once the kid is calm, you can teach the kid about lightning, and teach the kid how to protect himself, and how unlikely it is that he'll ever be in danger from lighting. Jealousy is rooted in fear. To cure jealousy, you must first replace panic with calm, then replace ignorance with knowledge.

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

Let me put this into context for you: have you ever gone to a club for the sole purpose of dancing, with no intention of picking someone up? If so, you've pissed of a lot of guys; guys go to clubs to pick up girls. Yes, there is the odd guy that will go to a club with no intention of picking someone up, but I have never in my life met a guy that has gone to a club just to dance! The closest I've ever seen to that is straight guys in a gay club that were dragged there by girls. Guys get jealous because guys understand how guys think.

...are you saying girls should only go to clubs if they want to pick up? 0_o

There's nothing wrong with thinking a girl is sexy. But the fact that you interpret dressing sexy with either being a slut or a tease makes me sad. It honestly sounds like you think it's a guy's god-given right to sleep with someone if they're giving off "signals".

Originally Posted by crazyfree

...are you saying girls should only go to clubs if they want to pick up? 0_o

Actually, I am. If I see a girl dancing at a club, and she's not already dancing with a guy, I consider her fair game, and if she rejects me, it doesn't matter if she only came to dance: I find it extremely insulting, as though she's saying "You're not good enough for me; I want a hotter guy. You're ugly."
Girls, if you go to a club just to dance, and you don't have any interest in even dancing with a guy, save some time and just slap every guy in the face as hard as you can, and call us all ugly. It'll hurt less.

Originally Posted by Shanel

There's nothing wrong with thinking a girl is sexy. But the fact that you interpret dressing sexy with either being a slut or a tease makes me sad. It honestly sounds like you think it's a guy's god-given right to sleep with someone if they're giving off "signals".

I don't believe in god-given rights, I believe in communication. If a girl gives off "signals," and those signals are interpreted as "I want to have sex," then she's communicating that she wants sex. If she doesn't want sex, that's poor communication, and the result is that the guy is teased. It's possible that one or two guys may pick up this signal when it's not being broadcasted, and that's not the woman's fault, but if a significant number of guys pick up this signal, or the signal is extremely obvious, then either follow through, or stop with the signal.

There's an expression "look but don't touch." If looking didn't logically lead to touching, why would this expression exist. The original point I am trying to make is that a jealous boyfriend will always be worried that someone will not heed this expression, and if they look, they'll touch. If you're boyfriend's worried about people touching what they see, then maybe you should limit what people see. That is my point.

Originally Posted by BJSchleifer

Actually, I am. If I see a girl dancing at a club, and she's not already dancing with a guy, I consider her fair game, and if she rejects me, it doesn't matter if she only came to dance: I find it extremely insulting, as though she's saying "You're not good enough for me; I want a hotter guy. You're ugly."
Girls, if you go to a club just to dance, and you don't have any interest in even dancing with a guy, save some time and just slap every guy in the face as hard as you can, and call us all ugly. It'll hurt less.

I can see how that might be frustrating, or hurtful for you or other guys.
However, have you ever considered that dancing is fun, and that perhaps a girl may enjoy dancing not as an act of enticement, but instead as an enjoyable way to spend one's time?

It almost seems as if you are implying that if a girl is dancing she then owes you for your interest in her.

Originally Posted by crazyfree

I can see how that might be frustrating, or hurtful for you or other guys.
However, have you ever considered that dancing is fun, and that perhaps a girl may enjoy dancing not as an act of enticement, but instead as an enjoyable way to spend one's time?

It almost seems as if you are implying that if a girl is dancing she then owes you for your interest in her.

Only a small minority of girls go to clubs just to dance. At the very least, they go to clubs to be hit on and get their egos stroked by rejecting guys.