Originally Posted by RyanC

Well the situation being awkward after that is entirely up to you..

People tell you that. But it's awkward anway. One of my friends at U of T asked this guy out beforew Christmas (probably not the best move) and he said that they'd def go out after the break (or something like that). She's seem him since and doesn't know what to d becasue they never exchanged numbers and she doesn't know whether she should bring it up to him (becasue she initially asked) or let him bring it up because she thinks that if the guy was interested in her he would bring it up. Or if she should never mention anything. I feel so badly for her becasue she's never been in that sitation and I have no clue what to tell her. What do you guys think?

depends i dont think anyone can generalize like that...

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

People tell you that. But it's awkward anway. One of my friends at U of T asked this guy out beforew Christmas (probably not the best move) and he said that they'd def go out after the break (or something like that). She's seem him since and doesn't know what to d becasue they never exchanged numbers and she doesn't know whether she should bring it up to him (becasue she initially asked) or let him bring it up because she thinks that if the guy was interested in her he would bring it up. Or if she should never mention anything. I feel so badly for her becasue she's never been in that sitation and I have no clue what to tell her. What do you guys think?

It is kind of a sticky situation. But honestly, she should go talk to him anyway. Maybe he didn't see her, or he didn't reply because he doesn't know her well enough, etc. There's a lot of possibilities, but she'll never know unless she talks to him. We create the awkward situations, even though I'm in awkward situations several times a day (awkwardness in general). The problem is that if both people are acting awkward and no one is putting forth the effort to make it less awkward, it'll stay that way. But if someone initiates a normal conversation, soon enough it'll go away

Originally Posted by ~*Sara*~

It is kind of a sticky situation. But honestly, she should go talk to him anyway. Maybe he didn't see her, or he didn't reply because he doesn't know her well enough, etc. There's a lot of possibilities, but she'll never know unless she talks to him. We create the awkward situations, even though I'm in awkward situations several times a day (awkwardness in general). The problem is that if both people are acting awkward and no one is putting forth the effort to make it less awkward, it'll stay that way. But if someone initiates a normal conversation, soon enough it'll go away

She calls me like every night to tell me what's happened that day... so I know pretty much everything in her situation. Apparently he works on campus so she sees him a lot and she saw him last week and he looked at her... and she looked at him... and that was all. And then this week they were kind of thrown together becasue he works the cash and they made small talk (how was your break etc.) and that was all. She's wondering if the reason why he doesn't initate anything is because he's working, but she asked him out while he was working because she never sees him anywhere else.

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

She calls me like every night to tell me what's happened that day... so I know pretty much everything in her situation. Apparently he works on campus so she sees him a lot and she saw him last week and he looked at her... and she looked at him... and that was all. And then this week they were kind of thrown together becasue he works the cash and they made small talk (how was your break etc.) and that was all. She's wondering if the reason why he doesn't initate anything is because he's working, but she asked him out while he was working because she never sees him anywhere else.

Maybe he is worried that over the break she changed her mind and doesn't actully want to go out with him anymore. The only way she will find out for sure what he is thinking is to talk to him and ask him again. From what it sounds like even if she gets rejected the akwardness won't be too bad since she doesn't see him for prolonged periods of time, more just short run-ins.

Originally Posted by stephfraser

Maybe he is worried that over the break she changed her mind and doesn't actully want to go out with him anymore. The only way she will find out for sure what he is thinking is to talk to him and ask him again. From what it sounds like even if she gets rejected the akwardness won't be too bad since she doesn't see him for prolonged periods of time, more just short run-ins.

That's a good point. lol She wanted to know if maybe he forgot that she asked him out. I told her that I don't think so haha. She said it will be awkward becasue he works at her fav coffee place on campus and if he rejects her then she feels like she won't be able to go in anymore. And also, when is she actually going to have time to ask him? There's always pople in line behind her so it's a rushed sort of thing and she doesn't know whether to ask for his number, gibe him hers, or ask to exchange. She's been telling me about this guy for WEEKS because her interaction with him started somewhere during October... and they talk more then "hey how are you" when he's working (but again it's like a short thing becasue she's just one of many people in line). It totally sucks for her, she's pretty upset.

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

That's a good point. lol She wanted to know if maybe he forgot that she asked him out. I told her that I don't think so haha. She said it will be awkward becasue he works at her fav coffee place on campus and if he rejects her then she feels like she won't be able to go in anymore. And also, when is she actually going to have time to ask him? There's always pople in line behind her so it's a rushed sort of thing and she doesn't know whether to ask for his number, gibe him hers, or ask to exchange. She's been telling me about this guy for WEEKS because her interaction with him started somewhere during October... and they talk more then "hey how are you" when he's working (but again it's like a short thing becasue she's just one of many people in line). It totally sucks for her, she's pretty upset.

Honestly, she really just needs to take a chance and go for it. It will be nerve-wrecking but there is no other way. If she doesn't want to talk to him while he is working she could just slip him her number at the cash. If he calls then she will know he is interested, and if not then at least she tried.

Don't you think her slipping him her number is a little forward? I mean, okay, asking him out may have been a bit forward (but then you could say that anytime anyone asks anyone out that it's forward). We have discussed that and I dunno, I don't think it's the best idea. She's really wishing she hadn't have done it in the first place or to have waited until after the break. I dunno, it's so hard becasue evryone's different. I told her she's probabaly thinking too much, but then, how can she not think too much? If he doesn't approach her about it, do you think she should just leave it? She kinda thinks it's his turn to talk to her about it becasue she was the first to bring it up and also becasue he's the guy... but I would think that because she initiated the whol thing, she should be the one to bring it up again. Then, if he was really intereted then he'd say something? No?

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

Don't you think her slipping him her number is a little forward? I mean, okay, asking him out may have been a bit forward (but then you could say that anytime anyone asks anyone out that it's forward). We have discussed that and I dunno, I don't think it's the best idea. She's really wishing she hadn't have done it in the first place or to have waited until after the break. I dunno, it's so hard becasue evryone's different. I told her she's probabaly thinking too much, but then, how can she not think too much? If he doesn't approach her about it, do you think she should just leave it? She kinda thinks it's his turn to talk to her about it becasue she was the first to bring it up and also becasue he's the guy... but I would think that because she initiated the whol thing, she should be the one to bring it up again. Then, if he was really intereted then he'd say something? No?

Here's the thing. Guys aren't mind readers and most of them do not pick up on sublteness. So, yes slipping him her number is forward but it is also the least confrontational. She doesn't have to say anything when she does it and she can just walk away after. It will also draw the least attention. My opinion is that she has to be the one to make the move. If she really likes this guy she can't let fear get in the way. He is probably thinking the same things that she is thinking. Neither of them want to be the one that says something, fearing the other person's reaction. Sometimes the whole "he's the guy" thing should really be ingnored. There is nothing wrong with her asking him again. I woul say she should give it one more shot and if he likes her then he will say something. If he doesn't like her he won't say anything and she will have to move on. But the only way she will know for sure is if she says something.

Originally Posted by stephfraser

Here's the thing. Guys aren't mind readers and most of them do not pick up on sublteness. So, yes slipping him her number is forward but it is also the least confrontational. She doesn't have to say anything when she does it and she can just walk away after. It will also draw the least attention. My opinion is that she has to be the one to make the move. If she really likes this guy she can't let fear get in the way. He is probably thinking the same things that she is thinking. Neither of them want to be the one that says something, fearing the other person's reaction. Sometimes the whole "he's the guy" thing should really be ingnored. There is nothing wrong with her asking him again. I woul say she should give it one more shot and if he likes her then he will say something. If he doesn't like her he won't say anything and she will have to move on. But the only way she will know for sure is if she says something.

Okay, thanks so much! I will pass on the advice (without letting her know that I posted this on a public forum...). She feels like everytime she goes in for coffee everyone who works there is watching her becasue she feels like he probably told some/all of his co-workers. And she feels like any time she goes in there (and sometmes she likes going in more than once a day.... she's a ridiculous caffeine addict) that he /everyone else thinks that she's only going in there to see him. Soooo... i guess she should wait for the right moment. She told me for a while that she was going to ask him out but she never did (I thought she got scared) but she was really just waiting for the right time. When they weren't too busy. I guess she's goin to have to wait again. How long do you think is too long to wait? School's already been on for a week. Almost 2 weeks.

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

Okay, thanks so much! I will pass on the advice (without letting her know that I posted this on a public forum...). She feels like everytime she goes in for coffee everyone who works there is watching her becasue she feels like he probably told some/all of his co-workers. And she feels like any time she goes in there (and sometmes she likes going in more than once a day.... she's a ridiculous caffeine addict) that he /everyone else thinks that she's only going in there to see him. Soooo... i guess she should wait for the right moment. She told me for a while that she was going to ask him out but she never did (I thought she got scared) but she was really just waiting for the right time. When they weren't too busy. I guess she's goin to have to wait again. How long do you think is too long to wait? School's already been on for a week. Almost 2 weeks.

I would say the sooner the better. As time goes on he's going to wonder more and more what's she thinking and wonder why she's hasn't brought it up again. She shouldn't wait too long otherwise he may lose interest or fine someone else. And the longer the wait the more anxious she's going to get which will make it harder for her to get the courage to ask him. I would say she should do it in the next week, and give him a week to reply.

Originally Posted by stephfraser

I would say the sooner the better. As time goes on he's going to wonder more and more what's she thinking and wonder why she's hasn't brought it up again. She shouldn't wait too long otherwise he may lose interest or fine someone else. And the longer the wait the more anxious she's going to get which will make it harder for her to get the courage to ask him. I would say she should do it in the next week, and give him a week to reply.

Yeah I agree; the sooner the better. But the sooner the better what? That she asks him if he still wants to hang out? I don't know what to tell her as to what she should say to him.

Originally Posted by lizziepizzie

Yeah I agree; the sooner the better. But the sooner the better what? That she asks him if he still wants to hang out? I don't know what to tell her as to what she should say to him.

Ya asking him if he still wants to hang out would be fine. The main thing is that she is talking to him about it and letting him know she is still intersted. It can be as simple as asking him if he wants to grab a coffee after his shift. If she wants to go big she could even suggest a movie she wants to see and ask if he wants to see it with her.

Pick one:

a) Your friend is unattractive
b) Her crush is now in a relationship
c) He's just not interested

Originally Posted by RyanC

Pick one:

a) Your friend is unattractive
b) Her crush is now in a relationship
c) He's just not interested

or d) he's a pansy